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I’m Not That Mom
Hey there, friend! So, let me just get this out there—I’m not the mom who sits on the floor for hours, playing My Little Pony. I’m definitely not the one who builds epic towns on Minecraft, and you won’t catch me ever trying to learn Pokémon. I’m fully aware that I might be lacking in this parenting department.
I’m super grateful for my partner, Mike, who is all about cartoons and video games. It warms my heart to see him and the kids tossing a football around in the yard. (Only outside, please—no balls in the house! Yikes.) I chuckle when I see them wrestling and having a blast together.
I was once that young, soon-to-be mom, terrified yet fiercely determined to welcome my kids into the world with all the love I could muster. I was a single mom juggling two little boys, working long hours, yet still finding time to throw dance parties where we belted out tunes and laughed until our sides hurt. Even before they were born, I was the mom indulging in cherry cheesecake just to see them dance (and hey, because cheesecake!).
From the moment I first laid eyes on them, I knew they would hold my heart forever. With each new baby, my love expanded. As infants, I was that mom who couldn’t sleep because I was mesmerized by their tiny faces. Even now, when I see them asleep, I picture them curled up in those adorable footie pajamas, wispy hair and all.
I was the mom who rocked them through sleepless nights, soothing them with gentle pats and shushing sounds. I worried over every bump and bruise, kissed their scrapes better, and spent countless hours in waiting rooms for broken bones and bandaged fingers (safety scissors, my foot!). I was the mom glued to your side during those preschool tours, and I even took online classes just to be more present for you.
I’m the mom who signs school notes, checks homework, and packs up lunches. I’m the one who makes all those doctor and dentist appointments and attends parent-teacher conferences. I’ve been rocking thrift store clothes for years so you can strut around in what seems like designer gear.
I’m the mom who cracks silly jokes, sings horribly off-key, and acts goofy just to see you smile. Those smiles? I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I love you more than words can express. But honestly, there are days when I feel like I’m coming up short.
I’m the mom battling chronic depression and anxiety. I’m the mom with PTSD and chronic migraines too. Sometimes it feels like I see more doctors than I do hairstylists (seriously, I can’t even remember the last time I got my hair done!). I struggle every day just to keep things running smoothly so you can have a “normal” childhood. I’m the one who does your laundry, even when it means I have to take a break to sit down. I’m the mom who makes sure bills get paid so you can have showers, clips your nails, buys your toothpaste, and reminds you to wear deodorant.
But I also forget stuff. Not the big things, like birthdays or holidays (though the Tooth Fairy might have left a note instead of cash once or twice). I forget the little things, like the cool gaming achievements you had yesterday—was it 58 touchdowns? Or was it a free throw? I can’t keep up!
Yet, I can read your emotions in a heartbeat. When you’re upset, I’m there to listen. I’m the mom who wants to slay all your dragons and protect you from anyone who might hurt you. But I’m also the mom who can be too exhausted to cook a decent dinner. Yes, that means mac and cheese and pizza rolls are staples around here sometimes. I’m the mom with piles of clean laundry on the couch because I just can’t fold it all. I’m the mom who gets overwhelmed easily and sometimes needs to hide when it all becomes too much. I’m that mom who cries in the bathroom when I feel like I’ve failed you.
I’m the mom who lies awake at night worrying about your well-being. I wish I could bottle up all your hugs and “I love you’s” to pull out on those tough days when hugs are scarce and doors are being slammed.
You are my world. My kids save my life daily. I’m the mom trying to be the parent you deserve, even if I’m not always the one you want around.
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In a nutshell, I’m just your imperfect mom, doing my best to raise amazing kids while navigating my own battles. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.