10 Reasons I’m a Little Envious of My Well-Endowed Friends

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Hey there! So, as a proud member of the petite chest club, I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy toward my friends who are more, let’s say, generously endowed. Seriously, I swear there’s a secret card you get when you join this club at 16, and it comes with a side of awkward dates. Thankfully, I found a partner who loves me for me—he says, “It’s all about the nipple!”—so I’m good. Still, here are some reasons I find myself a bit green with envy over those lovely ladies with larger assets:

1. I’ve heard loads of big-busted women say they don’t enjoy all the attention—what?! I’m all about that spotlight! But maybe that’s because I get mistaken for my friends’ little sister when we all go out.
2. My babies always seemed to prefer snuggling with my mom over me. Why? She’s got the comfy, cushiony bosom while I’m working with a ribcage that feels like a bumpy ride.
3. There’s something so womanly about curves. Boobs are often seen as a symbol of femininity, and when guys glance at me, I think they’re subconsciously thinking of the Sahara Desert or, worse, an ironing board with nipples.
4. Let’s talk bras. There’s this myth that small-boobed gals have the better pick of bras. But honestly, I think the real winners are the mythical “perfectly proportioned” women who snag all the cute options. My little bras often end up gaping in weird places.
5. Apparently, those larger curves can help you float in water and keep you warmer. Why am I always freezing and floundering like a fish out of water?
6. Promotions are another topic. I read (probably a super outdated and sexist article) that big-breasted women get more promotions. If a dude wants to hand me a raise because of my nonexistent assets, I’m all for it—after all, guys get ahead for having their own sets of balls, right?
7. Breastfeeding had its challenges. Let’s just say I felt like a contortionist trying to get the baby to the right height. I often wished for a little more volume to make that process smoother.
8. I have no excuse not to work out! Even if I forget my sports bra, I can still get it done—sadly.
9. Getting dressed up for a night out? It’s just me, some duct tape, and a wild dream to create some curves!
10. And let’s be real, I never have to say, “Hey mister, eyes up here!” Nobody is staring down south except for my husband, and even then, he’s just hoping for a glimpse of those fabulous ones.

So, while I know that having larger breasts comes with its own set of challenges, I still can’t help but admire them. I’m sure I’d tire of the attention after a while, but I can’t help but envy those curves! To all the voluptuous women out there, remember that us petite ladies are definitely envious of your assets.

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