What You Say When Dropping Off Your Kid at College

home insemination Kit

It was all supposed to be perfect. The night before, I had my speech down pat. At 2:19 a.m., I envisioned the moment I would drop off my oldest child at college. I imagined standing before him, arms outstretched like a loving figure, gently pulling him in for a close embrace. I would smooth his hair and smile serenely, saying, “My wonderful boy, we are so proud of you, and you’re going to do amazing things this year. We love you dearly!”

Then, we’d share a brief but heartfelt hug, one that would last just long enough to lock in the moment. With his arms around me, I would whisper, “Goodbye, my son!” and walk away, chin held high, like a character from a movie.

But reality hit hard on drop-off day. Our son led us to the car, and I knew this was the moment. My intention was to share calm reassurance, but instead, what came out was a stream of unsolicited advice: “Use single-ply toilet paper; double-ply tends to clog. Remember to sleep or you might feel blue. Smile when you’re out so people know you’re happy to be here. Don’t put your cup down mouth-side on the counter—germs!”

He tried to back away as I clung to him like a life raft. Did that stop me? Not a chance. I launched into more advice, just like I did when we first left him with a babysitter years ago. “Don’t lend money! Always check your surroundings when walking home alone. Eat your protein or you’ll feel gloomy. And for heaven’s sake, take showers—they’re miraculous!”

I found myself collapsing against him, recalling how he used to cling to me as a baby. My voice muffled against his shirt, I kept going: “Read labels! Take your vitamins! Change your toothbrush! Stay hydrated! Keep a hat and an umbrella in your bag because you never know when the Wisconsin weather will turn!”

The lump in my throat grew, but I kept pushing through my frantic list. I was on a mission, and nothing was going to stop me. “Wet socks are a nightmare! And please, see some greenery every day because scurvy is real!”

As I realized my grand farewell was unraveling, I squared my shoulders for one last goodbye. Just as I opened my mouth, emotions took over, and I burst into tears. I lunged for my son, soaking his shirt in a flood of tears, feeling like I was back to where it all began.

“Mom, why are you crying?” he asked, confusion etched on his face. I couldn’t answer. I just squeezed him tighter, wishing he could understand that I needed him to follow all my frantic advice.

I’ve cared for him his whole life, and now I needed him to take care of himself. He had to remember to make it home safe each night. Because beneath all the frantic advice, my message was simple: I love him more than words can express, even if it comes out as a jumbled mess.

If only there were a way to translate my ramblings into something he could understand, it would say, “Your mama loves you so much, sometimes it leaves her tongue-tied.”

For more on navigating parenthood, check out our other pieces, like this one on home insemination, which can help you understand the journey of expanding your family.

Summary

Dropping off a child at college can be an emotional experience filled with well-meaning but frantic advice. In a humorous and heartfelt recounting, a mother reflects on her struggle to impart wisdom while grappling with the reality of letting go. Despite her tearful farewell, the underlying message of love and care shines through.