I Am a Fun Stepmom

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Let’s talk about the not-so-glamorous image of stepmoms we often see in fairy tales. They’re usually painted as evil, cold-hearted, and downright nasty. But let me tell you, I joined the stepmom club a decade ago, and my experience has been anything but wicked!

When I first met my stepdaughter, she was rocking some adorable Hello Kitty sunglasses and a fluffy pink coat, strutting up to me with open arms for a hug and a compliment on my shoes. That first encounter set the stage for a loving, fun relationship full of laughter and style advice. We celebrated our bond by grabbing breakfast at a cozy café, and now, we make it a tradition to return there every year on the anniversary of that day. At our wedding in 2008, she was not just my flower girl but also my Maid of Honor. At just seven years old, she proudly walked me down the aisle. We even had this ongoing joke—she’d ask, “Guess what?” and I’d come up with the silliest responses. On my wedding day, when I started tearing up, she looked up and said, “Guess what? You’re my stepmom now!” That moment made my tears flow even more. I still cherish the Mother’s Day when she gifted me a t-shirt that read, “My Stepmom is Wicked Cool.”

As she’s grown, our relationship has evolved into one where I’m more of a friend and confidante. Her sense of humor is one of my favorite things about her, and we share so many laughs together. She truly brightens my life every single day.

Now, I know there are countless articles out there that paint step-motherhood as a nightmare, filled with horror stories of rebellious stepchildren. Just saying you’re a stepmom often gets you a sympathetic grimace. And if you’re a childless stepmom, the negativity multiplies. One article even claims that if you’re not a biological parent, you’re always seen as an “outsider.” Thankfully, that hasn’t been my reality. My stepdaughter makes it easy to love her, so when people compliment me on being a great stepmom, I think, “How could I not be?!” She’s simply amazing!

Sure, there have been challenges and judgments along the way, but with the support of my husband and family, I’ve managed to tune out the naysayers. For anyone stepping into this world, here’s my advice:

• Avoid the negative articles and forums filled with complaints; they only add fuel to the fire. Instead, look for positive resources that can help you navigate this journey.
• Create your own family traditions. These rituals have given us some of our best memories.
• Don’t engage in gossip. I often found myself as a target for it. Whenever negativity crept in, I reminded myself that my focus should be on my family. My husband often joked, “If you play with pigs, you both get dirty, and the pig loves it!”
• Refrain from comparing or competing with other households. Always take the high road; your stepchild, husband, and heart will thank you!

We recently celebrated my stepdaughter’s 15th birthday, marking the 10th birthday I’ve shared with her. As I looked through old photos, I couldn’t help but reminisce about the younger years. But I’m also excited about the next decade of being her stepmom. Her Hello Kitty sunglasses have transformed into chic Jackie O-style shades, and her fluffy pink coat is now an army green, but our bond of love and laughter is as strong as ever.

To my stepdaughter and my husband, thank you for making me a stepmom. Wicked or not, it’s a title I wear with pride.

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In summary, being a stepmom can be a beautiful journey filled with love, laughter, and cherished memories. Embrace it with open arms and create your own fairy tale.