As My Daughter Turns 21, Reflecting on My Own 20s

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Just yesterday, I shot a text to my daughter, Mia, who’s immersed in a summer internship at college. “I’m so thrilled for you!” I typed, trying to convey excitement through a screen.

“Why?” she replied, genuinely curious.

That’s a great question, I thought. She’s on the brink of a thrilling chapter in her life. At 21, she’s gearing up to finish college, with graduation less than a year away. She’s busy mapping out her future—studying for the GRE and narrowing down grad school options while considering potential cities and careers.

From my suburban life at 47, it all sounds glamorous, but I wonder if she feels the same. For her, this might be a whirlwind of stress rather than excitement. After all, you don’t really grasp the magnitude of your 20s until you’re on the other side, reflecting back. My own 20s were filled with change—graduating college, landing a job that I quickly left, marrying my husband, and welcoming two kids into the world. I transitioned from a full-time job to full-time mom without realizing how monumental those years truly were.

I want Mia to recognize the significance of this time. She’s standing on a precipice of her own making, ready to jump into a world of possibilities. She can explore, work, or further her education in any city she desires. Yet, I know she’ll face challenges too. The financial support from me will taper off, and the safety net of student life will disappear. She’ll enter a competitive job market with its own set of pressures—long hours, workplace dynamics, and the harsh reality of student loans. Relationships might come and go, and she’ll juggle family obligations when love finally finds her.

Yet, amidst the chaos, I want her to embrace the beauty of what lies ahead: the thrill of grad school and new friendships, the excitement of living on her own, and the joy of making decisions as an adult. Simple pleasures—like brunch with friends, a good movie, or a weekend getaway—will be treasures she cherishes.

Looking back, I wish I’d recognized the power of my choices back then. Every decision connected, shaping my life in ways I couldn’t have foreseen. I want to tell Mia—embrace your 20s. Don’t let fear hold you back. Be present and have fun, because these moments are the building blocks of your future.

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In summary, as Mia steps into her 20s, I reflect on my own experience, hoping she embraces every opportunity and challenge ahead.