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Why We Chose to Medicate Our ADD Son
I chatted with my son before sharing this, so he’s on board with me writing about our journey.
It seems that more and more kids are being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder/Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD) these days, often for reasons that go beyond just medical ones. There are stories floating around about schools nudging parents toward getting diagnoses to boost test scores or claims that pharmaceutical companies are pushing doctors to prescribe medications for kids who might just be a bit impatient or misbehaving.
Some people point to diet as a factor in ADD/ADHD, with sugar often named as the main culprit. However, some studies show that food additives and sugar might not be as problematic as many believe. While there might be some truth to these claims in certain cases, it doesn’t negate the reality that many children genuinely struggle with ADD/ADHD and could benefit from medication. Unfortunately, parents of kids with these disorders often face blame and scrutiny for their child’s learning challenges.
My son was diagnosed at the age of 8 after a teacher suggested he might have ADD. While it wasn’t a total shock, his dad and I had hoped his focus issues were just a phase of immaturity. He wasn’t a troublemaker in the typical sense—he didn’t disrupt class or act out at home—but he was an easily distracted and fidgety kid. He was most at ease while watching TV or playing video games, which is a common trait in children with ADD. Unfortunately, his intelligence didn’t match his academic performance, leaving his teachers, his dad, and me disappointed. We set up a 504 Plan to provide him with extra support, but getting that support was often a battle, requiring me to go into full-on mom mode at times.
No parent wants to resort to medication for their child. The decision to medicate our son was not made lightly, but once we saw the positive changes, we felt immense relief. However, contrary to what some might think, medication didn’t magically transform him from a distracted student to a straight-A achiever. It helped, but it took years of dedicated parenting and his own growth for him to align his maturity and self-motivation with his intellectual abilities.
Managing his medication through childhood and his teenage years was a constant challenge. At times, he would be a bit too zoned out from taking too much, leading us to adjust his dosage. As he hit adolescence and grew rapidly, we needed to tweak his dosage again. Unfortunately, we made a significant misstep during his junior year when we consulted a new psychiatrist who drastically reduced his medication by almost 80 percent. This decision took a toll on his grades and behavior, and I often wish we could go back and change it. We didn’t trust our instincts, and that was a tough lesson learned.
I firmly believe my son was accurately diagnosed with ADD. Was his diet perfect? No. Were we as strict as we could have been? Maybe not. But it wasn’t simply about him needing to “behave” or “calm down.” The medication truly helped him feel more at ease. Would it have been better to avoid medication and let him remain restless and unfocused? Should I have tested every possible dietary change or behavioral adjustment to see if we could figure out what was causing his struggles? We ultimately decided we didn’t want to risk making his life harder by waiting to see if things would improve on their own. For a child with ADD, it’s not just about behavior or academics; it’s about their overall quality of life.
What really made the difference for my son, in the end, was maturity. Some might say, “If you’d just been more patient, he would have outgrown it,” but that’s not the case. Now at 21 and nearing graduation from college, he’s learned to manage his ADD and knows when he needs to take his medication, mostly for school. He sees a mental health specialist monthly for his prescription, rather than an internist, which seems to work better for him. He’s become a dedicated student and has utilized the support available at his university to help him thrive. Whether he’ll continue to need medication as an adult is still up in the air, but that’s a decision he gets to make now.
To those who claim that ADD/ADHD is not a “real” disorder, or that it’s merely a result of lazy parenting or bad diets, I ask: what would you do if your child faced a health issue like asthma or allergies? Wouldn’t you want to provide them the best chance for success, health, and happiness? Would you really risk their well-being while testing various theories about what could be causing their struggles? We chose not to.
In summary, addressing ADD/ADHD is a nuanced journey that requires careful consideration and support. Each child is unique, and our experiences may differ, but the goal remains the same: to help our children thrive.