When a Mom Needs a Little TLC

home insemination Kit

You know, it was about six months after I stopped nursing my first baby that I had a freak-out moment. It happened on a plane, of all places, while my little one was dozing in my arms. I glanced at my partner, panic written all over my face, as my heart raced and beads of sweat formed on my forehead. My husband, unsure of what to do, took the baby from me as I tried to catch my breath. All I wanted was to feel normal again. My hands were shaking, and my stomach felt like it was turning inside out. I can’t even recall how I snapped out of it, but I do remember feeling off-kilter and disoriented for the rest of the day.

After that initial panic attack, I started having them more frequently, not enough to be debilitating but enough to make me feel like I was losing pieces of myself. I felt like a deflated balloon, constantly on the verge of unraveling. I struggled to find my identity, both as a person and a mother.

I decided to seek help and ended up in therapy, where I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder. The sudden halt of breastfeeding likely threw my hormones into a frenzy. During those sessions, I shed a lot of tears and eventually came up with “The Plan,” which my therapist totally supported.

So, what was The Plan?

It was to hit pause on motherhood for a little while. I know, it sounds wild, right? My son was just 15 months old, and I was already craving a break. I tried to shake off the guilt that came with it. The idea was to leave my husband and our home in Colorado—where he was busy launching his own business—and head to California to stay with my parents for 15 weeks. I would work full-time at the physical therapy clinic where I had been employed for four years, while my mom took care of my son during the day.

And that’s exactly what I did. I took those 15 weeks for myself, and slowly but surely, I began to rediscover who I was. I found joy not just in my work and reconnecting with old friends, but also in being cared for by my mom. Each day, I returned to a warm home-cooked meal, fresh laundry, and the sweet cuddles of my happy baby.

Miraculously, my panic attacks vanished as quickly as they had appeared. More importantly, I got to witness my mom nurturing my child with a naturalness that I hadn’t felt since that anxiety-ridden moment on the airplane. Every evening, I couldn’t wait to hear the stories of their daily adventures: “He walked all the way to the beach today!” or, “He hid from me at the mall and scared me half to death!”

When the 15 weeks came to a close, separating my mom from my son was heart-wrenching. She even joked that he was her baby now, and I was lucky she was letting me take him back.

To this day, the bond they share—formed through endless days of laughter, sandcastles, and sunshine—reminds me of how vital it is to take a step back sometimes, allowing for personal growth while still being a mom.

If you’re navigating a similar journey, there are plenty of resources available that might be helpful, like this one on fertility treatment options. And if you’re interested in more about home insemination, check out this post for some insights. Also, Make a Mom is a great authority on home insemination kits!

Summary:

Post-breastfeeding, a mom faced panic attacks and sought therapy, leading to a transformative 15-week break with her parents. This time away allowed her to reconnect with herself and witness her mother nurturing her child, ultimately strengthening their bond.