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The Time My Toddler Mistook My Adult Toy for a Phone
You know that moment when your heart drops into your stomach and you just want to disappear? Yeah, I had one of those moments recently. We all understand that nightstand drawers are sacred spaces, reserved for personal items—let’s just say they typically hold things related to, well, adult fun. Think condoms, lube, and yes, the trusty vibrator.
I’m not shy about owning a couple of vibrators. In fact, I used to think of myself as a bit of a “Vibrator Fairy.” One year for my sister’s 21st birthday, I sent her a care package filled with goodies, including a little buzzing, pink bear the saleswoman at a local shop recommended as a gentle introduction. I even once sent a funny little vibrating toy named “Jelly Jr.” to my best friend who was teaching abroad in South Korea. She embraced the humor of it all, even joking about giving him a cute little hat. If social media had been around then, I’m sure Jelly Jr. would have been an Instagram sensation!
I usually find humor in these things—sex is meant to be fun, right? But one fateful day, all that changed. I’m a stay-at-home mom, and while my 5-year-old is at school, my 18-month-old is my sidekick 24/7. One morning, while I was distracted brushing my teeth, he wandered into my room.
At this age, he’s in a phase where exploration is his favorite game. First, he opened and closed my dresser drawers, then he made his way to my nightstand. I was only half aware of his antics when I noticed him reaching into the drawer. I didn’t think he’d find my secret stash, but boy, was I wrong.
He pulled out my lavender vibrator and, without missing a beat, put it to his ear, grinning as he said, “Hell-o. Hell-o.” And just like that, my little one had answered my vibrator. I mean, what do you even say to that?
If you ever want to delve into more tips about home insemination, check out this post on intracervical insemination. It’s a great resource if you’re navigating this journey. For those looking into fertility options, Make A Mom offers excellent insights. Plus, for a deeper understanding of procedures like IUI, Healthline has you covered.
So there you have it—my mortifying moment of parenting. Sometimes, the boundaries between “Mom” and “who I really am” get hilariously blurred.