Finding Time for Myself Before Life’s ‘Knots’ Take Over

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Getting a massage is a rare treat for me—maybe twice a year if I’m lucky. Honestly, carving out time for myself feels like an uphill battle. I often think that I need to have everything perfectly aligned to justify taking a break: low-stress days, completed projects, and no chaos in sight. It’s like I’ve conditioned myself to view self-care as a reward for when life is going smoothly. But let’s be real, the perfect moment rarely arrives. There’s always something nagging at me.

For me, stress is physical, and I bet many of you can pinpoint where you carry yours. My massage therapists change with each visit, but they all seem to intuitively find “my knot” in the same spot: upper back, right shoulder. As soon as they locate it, I have to quip, “Oh, that’s just my ‘Didn’t Finish That Work Project Yet’ knot,” or my “I’m Totally Failing as a Parent” knot. No matter what I call it, that knot is definitely not my friend.

Every therapist seems determined to tackle my knot as if it’s their personal mission to obliterate it. But can we really find relief from that persistent reminder of our stress? Honestly, not really. It’s like pressing on a bruise—painful and uncomfortable. And then comes that moment at the end of the session when they say, “Take your time getting dressed.” If only they’d be honest and say, “As you get dressed, don’t forget all the stressors you ignored for the past hour.” Wouldn’t it be nice if that junk didn’t come flooding back so quickly?

Managing Life’s ‘Knots’

So, how do I manage these “knots” in my life without a therapist on speed dial? Do I procrastinate to dodge them? Absolutely. Do I wish them away? Yep. Do I occasionally tackle a few head-on before they blow up? Sometimes, but not with the same intensity as a massage therapist.

It’s not just massages I shy away from when I think everything has to be perfect. I skip reading for pleasure, binge-watching new shows, or even relaxing after the kids finally sleep. This is a problem. Somewhere along the line, I got the message that I can only treat myself kindly when everything is in order. What a misconception! Life is always going to be a bit chaotic.

Embracing Self-Care

I want to reach a place where I’m less critical of myself, where I can dive into tasks with determination, and be someone who isn’t overly sensitive. If I dig deep enough, I realize I have some valuable advice I should heed:

• The knots will always be there. Life won’t ever be perfect, and I can’t just wish them away.
• I need to learn to live with my knots gracefully. Sometimes they’re permanent, and I must set aside the tough stuff to make room for fun.
• Seriously, what could be more stress-relieving than doing something nice for myself? It seems so obvious!

If a massage therapist is willing to go to battle for my knots, maybe I should be kind enough to learn how to handle them myself—before they settle into my shoulders.

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In summary, learning to prioritize self-care and acknowledging that life will always have its knots is crucial. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment to enjoy simple pleasures, we should embrace the chaos and make time for ourselves now.