My Superhero Persona and Why You Should Create One Too

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Like many new parents, I was completely unprepared for the wild ride that parenting would bring. I felt like an amateur circus performer, juggling our two kids with my equally confused partner, Jake. We tossed our children back and forth while managing our jobs, praying that nothing would come crashing down.

Looking back, I can honestly say, “Not too shabby, 34-year-old me.” I often wonder how we survived those early years when our kids seemed determined to dart into danger at every turn. Those years honed my skills as I repeatedly swooped in to save the day.

Now, with two relatively well-adjusted teenage daughters, life has taken a different turn. Sure, they still occasionally misplace their house keys and require a last-minute rescue, but they also sleep in on weekends and can handle their own meals. They mostly want to hang out with friends, needing only light supervision from us.

In this fleeting period of our lives, we’re fortunate to have kids who require us less and less. While Jake and I could continue to save them from minor mishaps, we all know that hovering over competent kids can lead to more harm than good. As our daughters become more independent, I find myself with a superhero-sized void and no one to rescue. Instead of diving deeper into over-parenting, I crafted a new superhero identity.

And guess what? It has nothing to do with my kids.

Once our little ones grew up a bit, Jake and I joined forces with some neighborhood pals to start a rock band. Yes, you read that right—we began playing music at age 40, but not for kids! It was all about us!

Initially, we were just a step above terrible—not exactly superheroes, but definitely super lame. We played mediocre covers of the same punk songs we’d belted out in college, pretending we sounded decent. I took the lead vocals, often hitting notes that were just a smidge sharp, while Jake, the bass player, stuck to basic lines. Our performance attire looked like we were trying to relive our middle school glory days.

However, as we let go of our need for perfection, this new passion liberated us to become our true selves. A few years in, we landed a gig at a middle school birthday party. We set up our gear, nailed the soundcheck, and put on a legit show. During our rendition of “Seven Nation Army,” as the gym vibrated with energy, I realized we weren’t just pretending anymore—we had become a real rock band.

We changed our band name a few times, eventually recording an album titled Forget About Gravity, which is now on Spotify. I even upgraded my wardrobe with black skinny jeans and a shiny sequined top. The more I immersed myself in this new identity, the more I felt alive—not just as a teacher or a mom, but as me.

But let’s be clear: I didn’t abandon my responsibilities. My band is my superhero persona, while I remain a steady, dependable middle school teacher and mom. I’m like Clark Kent—never missing a deadline.

As I carved out time for rehearsals, my superhero identity flourished. At the music studio, which often resembles a post-apocalyptic taco stand, I make it a point not to clean up after anyone. When I’m jamming at a club in the Lower East Side, I’m nobody’s mommy.

And Jake? We’ve transitioned from being mere roommates sharing childcare duties to becoming a dynamic duo like Carly Simon and James Taylor. We’re back in the band together, and it feels like we’re dating again.

In those initial years as amateur musicians, our kids showed little interest in our music. They’d politely listen to a snippet when asked but would soon drift off to do whatever well-adjusted kids do. “It’s kinda loud, Mom,” they’d say, “but you seem to be having fun.” And oh, I was! We all were. We love our family time, but we also cherish our independence. The girls pursue their interests while Jake and I pick up our instruments.

I truly believe more adults should cultivate their own secret superhero identities. If rock music calls to you, start a band—your first gig might just be opening for us! You might struggle at first, because even superheroes have to learn, but don’t give up.

Not into music? That’s cool! What’s your hidden superhero identity? Ignore that nagging voice telling you to conform, and listen to the one that urges you to explore. Maybe you’re a passionate knitter, an aspiring triathlete, or a master of origami. Superhero parents inspire everyone, so if your adventure includes your kids, let that cape fly!

Connect with other amateurs, or find a supportive community of like-minded souls. The internet is brimming with people sharing your interests. Remember when you loved playing soccer in high school? I bet there are adult leagues near you. Go out and play!

Only you know what ignites your passion, and only you can carve out time to pursue it. Treat yourself to a superhero outfit, even if it’s just for your eyes. Life is more than your daily grind—there’s something more you’ve always wanted to chase. So, go ahead and embrace that superhero you’ve always dreamed of being.

And please, don’t call this journey a “hobby.” Just think of it as “being alive.”

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In summary, creating a superhero identity can enrich your life and bring fulfillment beyond the daily responsibilities of parenting. Dive into your passions and reclaim that part of yourself you might have forgotten.