Co-Sleeping: A Lifelong Adventure

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It’s funny how my kids have found their way back to our bedroom for sleep after all these years—15 and 12, to be precise. I remember when our firstborn was just a tiny bundle, and my partner and I were sprawled out, reading the Attachment Parenting Book by the Searses aloud with a mix of amusement and exhaustion.

In one part about sleep, the authors comforted parents with the idea that kids usually stop co-sleeping by age 6. We couldn’t help but laugh. “What if Max is still in our bed at 6?” we joked, half-serious. Time felt surreal back then, like it could stretch or compress in ways that were hard to grasp. And honestly, the Searses seemed a bit eccentric to us. I still have this vivid image of all eight of their kids piled in their master bedroom on various beds and mats.

I genuinely loved co-sleeping, not because it was the “right” thing to do but because it was pure joy—complicated joy, though. There were moments of milky groping, sleepy baby faces, and the soft glow of moonlight illuminating my toddler’s grinning face. The crib was pushed right up to our bed, and later we set up another little bed to match the height. We’d all be tangled in clean pajamas, the scent of shampoo lingering in the air. But let me tell you, I was perpetually tired.

Before we knew it, we had morphed into the Searses without much thought. Our babies nursed endlessly, and bedtime routines turned into epic sagas of face washing, story reading, and relaxing music. I’d lie there like a CPR mannequin while they nursed, patted my head, and fell asleep with their tiny hands tangled in my hair. I was exhausted yet overflowing with gratitude, drifting into a blissful stupor that defined those long nights.

Sometimes, armed with a headlamp, I’d read parenting books that made me feel hopeless. Clearly, my kids would never learn to sleep alone, and I’d be stuck beneath them forever, a tired old lady while they snored their way into adulthood. I remember babysitting my brother’s baby once, and when I asked about their bedtime routine, he casually said, “Oh, just put him in his crib and turn off the light.” What? It felt like he was speaking another language. I stood in the doorway, watching this tiny human simply shut his eyes and fall asleep, filled with envy and confusion.

I bring this up because I see on social media that people are still having babies and toddlers! New parents are facing the same sleep challenges we did, navigating their own choices and figuring out what it all means. Mostly, they’re tired, just wanting reassurance that it’s all going to be okay, which it is. It must be, considering that even my two notorious poor sleepers are now—yes, the skeptics from years ago—both fantastic, independent sleepers, capable of soothing themselves.

But now, they’re back, and it’s been the most amazing summer ever. We’ve fully embraced our inner Searses. Sure, they claim they’re only here for the free AC, but honestly, nobody leaves even when it’s cool. We’ve always kept a small futon in our bedroom—affectionately dubbed “The Crouton”—for those restless nights or bad dreams. Now, we’ve added another mattress, and the room has become a cozy tent of blankets and pillows, with our cat frolicking among us. It feels like an endless slumber party. We stay up late, watching shows and laughing together.

As I drift off to sleep, I hear my husband and son chuckling at Parks and Recreation with their headphones on, while my daughter snores softly beside me. And it hits me: we could have missed out on this. We could have followed someone else’s idea of what we should do instead of living in a way that maximized our happiness as a family. Sure, fall will come, and the party will wind down. We’ll return to our separate rooms and sleep alone again, just the two of us in the big bed. And while that’s not so bad, I’ll miss creeping around in the dark to catch glimpses of those moonlit faces—my gigantic kids breathing softly, and I realize I’m the luckiest person in the world.

In conclusion, co-sleeping has been a wild ride filled with chaos and love. Embrace whatever makes your family happy, and remember that it’s all part of the journey.

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