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Why Every Woman Should Have a Gay Best Friend
Let me share a little story about my life and the wonderful friendship I’ve built with my gay best friend, Alex. We were both nontraditional students in our early 30s, finally deciding to tackle our degrees after years of living it up. I was in my last year of college when I first met Alex in class.
We hit it off right away, chatting before lectures and sharing cigarettes after class. I opened up about my little girl and my choice to leave her father, while Alex shared his adventures in work and travel. Occasionally, we’d grab a drink between classes. Looking back, I can’t believe it took me nearly two months to realize Alex was gay. I was crushed—of course, I’d find a fantastic connection with someone who wasn’t into women. It felt like something straight out of an Alanis Morissette song. Ironic, right?
I graduated a semester ahead of Alex, but we kept in touch and soon became inseparable. He was my go-to for weddings, my dinner companion, my confidant, and a huge part of my support network. We even studied for the LSAT and GRE together. My family embraced him like one of their own, including my daughter. One day, someone jokingly asked, “Where’s your gay husband?” That’s when we started calling each other “gay husband” and “straight wife.”
After a year, I moved 1,500 miles away for a master’s program, but our bond remained strong. We’d chat regularly and made it a point to hang out whenever I visited. After finishing my master’s, I settled into a Ph.D. program about eight hours from home, yet Alex and I still made each other a priority. He’d stay at my place, I’d stay at his, and we’d often find ourselves lounging together, laptops in hand, just like an old married couple.
Over the years, Alex has been my rock during tough times, a shoulder to cry on after bad dates, and a wonderful male role model for my daughter. He’s generous with his time and even his wallet; he once lent me money to buy a used bedroom set for my daughter when her father wouldn’t help. A month later, he forgave the debt as a birthday gift to me! He treats me to dinners, thoughtful gifts, and always challenges me when I’m being unreasonable. He embodies everything I hope to find in a partner—minus the romantic tension.
I used to think that every woman had a gay friend who filled the role of a girlfriend, providing better fashion advice and even haircuts. While I’ve had those kinds of friends, I’ve learned that having a gay best friend like Alex is something entirely different. He occupies a unique space in my life, allowing me to accept his support—both emotional and practical—without the complications of romantic chemistry. His intelligence, humor, empathy, and generosity are traits I admire and value deeply. Who knows? A fabulous gay best friend and a trusty vibrator might just be the perfect combo!
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In short, having a gay best friend can enrich your life in ways you never expected. Their unique perspective and unwavering support can be an invaluable part of your journey, making every step a little brighter.