29 Ridiculous Reasons Kids Argue About Stuff

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This year, the excitement of a fresh school year fizzled out faster than I expected. Not even the shiny new school supplies or crisp uniforms could lift the gloomy vibe in our house once the kids were back in school. We’re only 13 days in, and I’m already counting down to Thanksgiving—our first real break is 74 days away, by the way. By day 8, I had exhausted all my lunch ideas. Day 10 saw us oversleeping. By day 12, I jokingly suggested homeschooling just to catch a few more z’s past 6:15 AM. The kids just stared blankly at me, and that plan was immediately tossed aside.

As I sat in the pickup line on day 13, my mind wandered back to our summer days filled with late mornings, impromptu beach trips, and s’mores on the patio. I longed for the sand that once blanketed my car mats and the sight of surfboards wedged between the seats. I yearned for a washing machine full of swimsuits instead of polo shirts with our school crest.

But as soon as the kids tumbled into the car, it began—a non-stop argument for the whole 20-minute ride home. Suddenly, I remembered that summer wasn’t as blissful as I’d painted it in my mind. I think it was around week 4 when I was on the phone with my husband, joking about selling my own blood to afford a camp…any camp. The constant bickering had reached a peak, and it hit me: if arguing about trivial things were an Olympic event, my kids would be taking home gold medals.

Here are 29 of the absurd things my kids bicker about:

  1. Which juice glass is cooler
  2. Debating (yes, kids can even argue about if they argue too much)
  3. Who’s “out” in games like Gaga, butts-up handball, or Nerf wars
  4. Whose sock is on the floor
  5. Anything that’s just an opinion
  6. Anything that’s a fact
  7. Who greeted the neighbor first
  8. What time Grandma and Grandpa are showing up
  9. The actual time Grandma and Grandpa arrived
  10. Who hugged Grandma and Grandpa first
  11. How to unload the dishwasher (spoiler: they both struggle)
  12. Who scoops the dog poop
  13. Who fed the dog last
  14. Whose tortoise is bigger
  15. Who gets the last of any snack
  16. Who gets the first of any snack
  17. What we had for dinner last night
  18. Who gets sunscreen on first at the beach
  19. If the latest Maroon 5 song is overplayed
  20. Which route to school is quicker
  21. Who started the argument
  22. Who gets to use the treadmill versus the elliptical (because taking turns isn’t happening)
  23. Who gets to unlock the car door
  24. Who gets to unlock the front door
  25. Who forgot to close the car door
  26. Who forgot to close the front door
  27. Slurpee versus McFlurry
  28. Who greeted Dad at the door first
  29. Who greeted Dad at the door first yesterday

Now, it feels like those 74 days until Thanksgiving will take forever, and packing lunches suddenly doesn’t sound so bad. For more on this parenting journey, you might want to check out this helpful resource on fertility treatments. If you’re considering home insemination, you can find useful tips on this page as well as a comprehensive guide from Make a Mom.

In summary, the little squabbles kids engage in can be downright ridiculous. But hey, it’s all part of the parenting experience!