5 Phrases I’m Ditching in My Parenting Journey

Hey there, fellow parents! Let’s be real—parenting is no walk in the park. I’m definitely guilty of saying things I promised I wouldn’t. Lately, I’ve been trying something I like to call mindful parenting, which means being more aware of how I talk to my kids. Turns out, I have some work to do. So, I’m kicking these five phrases to the curb:

1. What’s wrong with you?

I remember hearing this phrase way too often in my own childhood, and I swore I wouldn’t use it with my kids. The first time it slipped out, I felt like I was watching a bad movie. My child’s face mirrored the shame I used to feel, and it crushed me. It’s so easy to yell this out when my little ones aren’t listening or are misbehaving, but I’ve realized shaming them is never justified. My role is to uplift them, not chip away at their confidence. They need a solid foundation for the tough world out there, not more hurt before they even step outside.

2. Why can’t you be more like your sister?

Okay, so I might not have said those exact words, but the vibe is similar. When I’m frustrated with one child, I sometimes point out their sibling’s good behavior to inspire change. But really, that only invites unhealthy competition and comparison into our home. Each of my kids is unique, with their own strengths and quirks. Instead of fostering rivalry, I want them to appreciate their individuality.

3. You’re making me so angry.

Let’s face it—no one can make me feel anything. My anger is a mix of my own feelings and external factors, like my kids’ antics. Sure, their actions might trigger my irritation, but it’s on me to manage that emotion. I can choose a calm response instead of letting anger dictate my actions.

4. Mommy’s feeling down; come hug me.

While this may seem innocent, it’s a slippery slope. I don’t want to burden my kids with my emotions, making them feel responsible for my happiness. They shouldn’t feel obligated to fix my mood. It’s my job to manage my feelings, and they can offer support, but it’s not their responsibility.

5. You need to play with that the right way.

Who says there’s a “right” way to play? Play is all about creativity and self-expression. When I tell my child there’s a specific way to use a toy, I’m stifling their imagination and shutting the door on their world. I want to encourage their creativity, not box it in.

Admitting these things is tough, but I’m sharing them to hold myself accountable. I want my kids to grow into confident, independent adults, and it starts with how I communicate with them now. If you’re interested in more on this journey, check out our other blog posts, like this one on home insemination kits. Also, for more information about fertility, Make a Mom is a great source. For helpful resources on pregnancy, this site has you covered!

In summary, it’s important to be mindful of our words as parents. Ditching phrases that shame, compare, or place emotional responsibility on our children can help them grow into strong, independent individuals.