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It’s Totally Fine to Just Say ‘No’
Hey there, New Mom!
Congratulations on your precious little one! Since you shared the news of your pregnancy, you’ve likely been showered with all sorts of advice about motherhood—some great, some not so helpful, and a few that are just downright bizarre. While it might be tempting to nod along politely and dismiss most of it, there’s one piece of wisdom I really want you to take to heart in these early days: It’s completely okay to just say “no.”
The next few weeks are going to be a whirlwind—don’t stress, that’s perfectly normal! Your life has just changed in the most beautiful way. For a little while, you might feel exhausted and overwhelmed, with your main focus being on caring for your baby. And that’s perfectly fine. In those first few weeks, people understand. Neighbors might drop off frozen meals, family will pitch in to help with chores, and friends will insist you take a nap while they hold the baby. No one minds if your dishes are piling up or if your yard needs mowing. Enjoy this time! It can be tough, but with the right support, you can rest and concentrate on what truly matters.
However, a little funny thing tends to happen when your baby reaches the one-month mark. While your little one is still on that familiar eat-sleep-poop cycle, everyone around you seems to think it’s time for you to jump back into the swing of things. To them, a month feels like forever, and they may expect you to dive back into your pre-baby commitments.
Sure, last fall you baked six dozen cookies for the bake sale, but this year, even getting to the store to grab ingredients can feel like a monumental task. It’s absolutely okay to just say “no.”
Maybe you organized your cousin’s bridal shower last year, but right now, your brain feels like mush, and you can hardly keep track of your laundry, let alone plan an event for thirty people. It’s okay to just say “no.”
And yes, a lunch date with your college friends sounds delightful, but you’re worried about germs around your newborn, plus, they’re heading to a place without space for a car seat. It’s okay to just say “no.”
You have every right to decline because it’s nap time, or because you’re simply too tired, or because you feel you can’t manage it. You can say “no” because your baby doesn’t handle afternoons well, or because you want to soak up every moment before heading back to work, or because you’re still figuring out breastfeeding and want that to go smoothly.
You can say “no” if you don’t want your newborn around a bunch of strangers, if you’re concerned about noise levels, or if you just want a cozy night in with your partner. Whatever your reasons, if you’re not up for it, it’s perfectly fine to just say “no.”
Whether you choose to decline politely or firmly, whether you offer an explanation or keep it simple, remember: don’t say “yes” when you really mean “no.”
Being a mom is a challenge at any stage, but the early days with a newborn can be especially demanding. Don’t feel guilty for prioritizing your baby, yourself, and your family. In time, you’ll find yourself saying “yes” again, and as your kids grow, those “yes” moments will outnumber the “no” ones.
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Remember, it’s all about finding your rhythm as a new parent, and it’s perfectly okay to take things at your own pace.