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I Don’t Want to Be My Daughter’s Best Friend
You know that moment when you realize you’re never going to be the “cool mom”? Yeah, I’ve hit that point, and I’m totally fine with it. Let’s take a trip down memory lane for a sec. Remember those cringe-worthy times when your mom did something so “mom-like” that you wanted to sink into the ground? You probably swore you’d never pull those kinds of stunts on your own kids. Then, boom—you become a parent and suddenly find yourself in the same boat.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I don’t want to be my daughter’s “#bestie.” Seriously, it’s not something I aspire to, and I feel pretty strongly about it. My mom wasn’t my best friend growing up. There wasn’t a day where I rushed home to spill the details of my first kiss with some long-haired boy. Can you imagine her reaction? “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!” Yeah, that’s a conversation I’d rather avoid, and I’ve got a few years to work on my own responses.
I was definitely a late bloomer when it came to dating, but now as a mom, 15 seems way too young for all that. I’ve heard from my friends who teach middle school that kids are diving into things like oral sex as early as 6th grade—12 years old! That’s beyond disturbing. Honestly, the thought of boys showing interest in my daughter at that age makes me want to grab a flamethrower. “Hey Berkley, want to ride bikes?” “BACK OFF, JIMMY, or you’re toast!”
When I was 12, I was blissfully unaware of any of that stuff. Kids today face a level of exposure that’s just heartbreaking. So, when it comes to the whole “cool mom” thing—as Amy Poehler said in Mean Girls—I can’t jump on that bandwagon.
I refuse to ignore the signs when I find a questionable text in my daughter’s messages. You bet I’ll be checking in on her conversations, and there’s no way I’m letting her have a closed-door hangout with her boyfriend. Underage drinking? Not happening in my house. And as for sleepovers at her boyfriend’s place? No chance, even if he’s the perfect kid who volunteers at shelters and aces all his classes. And let’s be clear: there’s no way I’m okay with her dressing like she’s on the set of Moulin Rouge. Sorry, kiddo, but cover up!
Now, am I a “Hover Mom”? Urban Dictionary describes them as those overly cautious parents who think their kids are in constant danger. Honestly, it’s a bit annoying to see moms who keep a close eye on their kids labeled in such a negative light. I don’t think my kids are in danger every second, but yeah, I’m going to be around sometimes. That’s part of the gig, right?
I do believe there’s a balance to strike when it comes to parenting. I’m not going to invade their privacy completely, and I want to build trust as they grow. They need some freedom to make choices and learn from mistakes. My ultimate aim? I want my daughter to respect and love me—just like I respect and love her enough to guide her through the tough stuff.
One day, I hope to be one of my daughter’s closest friends, just like my mom became mine after I got married. It’s a beautiful thing to have that bond. But for now, while she’s still young and navigating innocence, I’m not her best friend. I’m her mom.
And if you’re interested in more on parenting topics, check out some insightful reads on home insemination—like this post here or visit this authority site for all things self insemination. If you’re curious about pregnancy details, the CDC has tons of valuable info.
In summary, being a parent means setting boundaries and guiding your kids through the wild ride of growing up. While I might not be the “cool mom,” my focus is on being a supportive and loving mother first.