30 Simple Steps to Sleep Train Your Toddler

home insemination Kit

I adore my little guy! As the best super nanny once said, he’s “practically perfect in every way.” He’s sweet, loving, and the king of cuddles. However, there’s one tiny hiccup—sleep. He’s not the best at it. It seems like he hasn’t quite figured out how to self-soothe, and apparently, my presence is like his personal snack bar. When he wakes up and realizes I’m not there, he doesn’t know what to do but cry. (Sorry, but isn’t that just classic?) Anyway, as he approaches 19 months and I’ve been running on fumes for what feels like an eternity, it’s time to take charge and set a sleep training plan into motion. Here’s my 30-step journey to sleep training my toddler:

1. Put him to bed at his usual time, sticking to our routine (rocking and nursing—maybe this will make him sleep through the night).
2. Get ready for bed at about 2:00 a.m.
3. Snuggle into bed, adjusting until I find that sweet spot.
4. Start drifting off, just hitting that REM sleep.
5. Wait, is that a baby crying? Yep, definitely a baby crying.
6. Husband kicks me, “The baby is crying.”
7. Unwrap myself from my cozy cocoon, preparing to get up as he says, “Just let him cry.”
8. Cover back up, staring at the ceiling while listening to the crying.
9. After twenty minutes, I’m fuming since my husband is snoring away and the baby is screaming, “Mommy! Moooooommmmmmy!”
10. Get out of bed, close the bedroom door so my husband can sleep.
11. Shut all bedroom doors to avoid waking other little ones.
12. Stand by the baby’s door, willing him to stop crying.
13. Almost dozing off while standing, I reluctantly decide to sit in the hallway and listen.
14. Drift off again, only to wake with a painful cramp in my hip from the floor.
15. Realize the baby’s sobbing has escalated.
16. Decide to throw caution to the wind and go in.
17. Go in with the plan to comfort him, but I melt when he grins and reaches out, “Mommy!”
18. Scoop him up, sinking into his warm toddler hug.
19. Rock him back and forth until he leans against my shoulder, eyes heavy.
20. Convinced he’s asleep, I lay him down in the crib.
21. Yell, “CRAP!” and bolt when he pops up like a jack-in-the-box.
22. Retreat down the hall, close the door, and pile on the blankets.
23. Realize I can still hear him yelling, “MOMMY!!”
24. Hear my 9-year-old in the hallway and realize the baby might wake everyone up.
25. Throw off the covers with an exaggerated sigh.
26. Meet my 9-year-old, who says, “Mom, the baby wants you.”
27. Curse my fertile uterus.
28. Totally give in, scoop him up, and get comfy in the rocking chair, nursing him to sleep, while cramping up in my backside.
29. Resign myself to this cycle until he’s in kindergarten or I win the lottery for a baby whisperer.
30. Sneak out with him sound asleep just as the sun rises, thinking, “He’s only little for a bit. Who cares?” Not me, not really.

So there you have it, my comical and chaotic journey through sleep training. If you’re in the same boat, remember, you’re not alone! For more about home insemination and parenting, check out some of our other great posts like those on intra-cervical insemination or cryobaby. And don’t forget to explore this resource for more insights on pregnancy and home insemination.

Summary: Sleep training a toddler can feel like a never-ending battle. With humor and a touch of chaos, follow my 30-step plan as I navigate the ups and downs of getting my little one to sleep through the night.