Parenting can be a rollercoaster, and for me, it took a surprising turn when I discovered my son, Ethan, was autistic at the age of nine. It’s hard to believe that it took this long to get to this point, and I spent countless hours over two months trying to wrap my mind around the phrase: “Ethan has autism.”
One day last October, I received a call from the school psychologist. “Hi, Ms. Johnson,” she said, “Could you come in this week to discuss Ethan’s IEP results?” Ethan had been on an Individualized Education Program since starting school, but our recent move to Nevada meant everything needed to be reassessed. No problem, I thought. I was excited to chat about how well Ethan was doing in 3rd grade. He had adapted beautifully, especially moving from Germany to Las Vegas.
As I sat down with the psychologist, I expected a quick meeting. My husband was away on temporary duty, and I was managing everything solo, but I was ready for a positive conversation. “Ethan is doing so well!” I exclaimed, completely oblivious to the seriousness of the situation.
“Yes, he’s a remarkable kid,” she replied. “I’ve spent a lot of time reviewing his IEP and talking with his teachers.” I nodded, still in a blissful ignorance. “They send great notes home, and he really seems to be thriving,” I added.
However, the psychologist’s demeanor shifted. “After extensive discussions with his teachers and speech therapist, we think Ethan may be autistic.”
Silence filled the room. My heart sank. “What?” I managed to say, feeling as if I had just been blindsided. I had been through so many assessments since he was five—how could they have missed this?
She explained that while he had been tested multiple times, many autism traits don’t become apparent until after age eight or nine. I realized in that moment how differently Ethan perceives social interactions. While most kids might understand humor or sarcasm, Ethan doesn’t pick up on those cues at all.
As she continued speaking, it felt like a heavy weight was settling on my shoulders. I had built a protective bubble around my emotions, and now it was bursting. The thought crossed my mind to walk out and ignore her suggestions. But instead, I took a deep breath and said, “What do we need to do? If you think this is a possibility, let’s run the tests. Can we start now?”
Those words were challenging to say, but I knew I had to act fast before I lost my courage. Once we began the first assessment, it became clear to me: Ethan was indeed different, and while he was the same sweet boy I always knew, everything was shifting for me.
Afterward, I sat in my car, unable to leave. I called a friend who let me vent and cry it out. It was tough to hold back my emotions. I thought about Ethan—the charming kid who loves his “alone time” with his terrarium and finds joy in simple things. He’s so bright and caring, always worrying about me and his stuffed animals. And now, he’s autistic.
Soon, my reaction to the diagnosis settled into a sense of clarity. My husband felt a wave of relief, and I began to understand how freeing a diagnosis could be. No more worrying about his obsessions or social quirks; now I had answers. It explained so many things about Ethan and our life together.
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Summary
Discovering my son Ethan’s autism diagnosis at the age of nine was a surprising and humbling experience. After years of tests and specialists, I found clarity in understanding his unique ways. Embracing this diagnosis has allowed us to navigate life with newfound insight and acceptance.