It Turns Out You Can Pass Down Math Anxiety to Your Kids

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As a kid, I was always anxious about music. I had a passion for singing and wanted to excel, but my pitch was all over the place. I trudged through voice and piano lessons, trying to mimic the melodies my teachers sang, but each session left me drenched in sweat. Why was it so hard to replicate a simple major scale? The moment my teacher played do-re-mi, I could feel my heart racing; I desperately wanted to get it right, but it rarely happened. My anxiety loomed over me like a thunderous roar, drowning out every other aspect of the lesson. Eventually, I gave up on music for two decades.

Recently, my son had his first violin lesson, and the teacher began by singing a scale and asking him to echo it back. At first, he was confused and resistant (he’s five—he’s got a mind of his own), but eventually, he mustered up the courage to croak out the notes. From the kitchen, I could feel my own anxiety bubbling up, but he didn’t seem bothered. He looked a bit puzzled but was overall calm. Later, he cheerfully sang the songs to me.

The Impact of Parental Anxiety

Research shows that parents can unintentionally pass on their anxiety—especially when it comes to math. According to a recent study referenced by Claire Morgan on KQED’s Mindshift blog, parents who struggle with “math anxiety” and frequently help their kids with math homework can transmit that stress to their children. Studies reveal that anxious kids have overactive brain areas associated with negative emotions, which hinders their problem-solving abilities. The more math-anxious parents assist with homework, the worse it tends to get.

This situation is particularly challenging now, as kids are learning math in ways that are different from how we were taught. The Common Core standards have introduced new teaching methods that are meant to be more intuitive, which can leave parents scratching their heads over what seems like unnecessarily complicated processes.

What Can We Do?

So what can we do? One option is to give your kids some space during math homework or encourage them to seek help from a teacher or tutor. Another approach is to familiarize yourself with these new methods, as the study’s lead author suggests that parental resources should be made available to help kids get effective support at home.

I recently started music lessons again and found that being older, along with having a kind, supportive teacher, has significantly reduced my anxiety. But I still worry about passing on my fears to my son. I want us to enjoy playing and singing together without the stress of perfection looming over us. Just like with music, I know that math was a source of anxiety for me as well, and I hope my son can tackle any challenges he faces calmly and without the overwhelming roar of fear.

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Conclusion

In summary, it’s essential to be aware of how our anxieties can affect our kids, especially in subjects like math. By fostering a calm and supportive environment, we can help them navigate their challenges without interference from our fears.