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The Journey of Motherhood: A Reflection on Becoming a Mom
In the past five years, my body has transformed in ways I never thought possible, as it nurtured and brought three beautiful children into the world. I’ve fed them with my own body, held them close, and showered them with countless kisses. Yet, there are still moments when I find it hard to believe that I’m actually a mom now.
When did I transition from just being a girl to someone’s mother? It feels like just yesterday when I was driving home from the hospital, a tiny, squirming bundle in the backseat, while my body felt battered and my heart raced with fear about living up to this new role. After all, mothers are supposed to be like goddesses, right? They should instinctively know how to soothe a child, where to kiss the boo-boos, and how to recognize all sorts of rashes. I knew none of that.
Five years ago, I became a mother, but it took time before I truly felt like a mom. What marks that pivotal moment when we go from being a new mom to a seasoned one?
Is it the anxiety of sitting on the toilet, dreading that first poop after giving birth? Is it the endless nights spent shuffling through the house for late-night feedings, dozing off in spit-up-stained sheets? Is it the first time you pump in the middle of the night to keep your milk supply up? Or is it nursing while dealing with cracked nipples, muffin tops, and those bizarre stray hairs that seem to pop up overnight?
Is it the night you rock them to sleep, even though your neck feels like it’s about to snap from the awkward position? Is it their first smile or the moment they reach out for you to hold them? Is it the frantic rush to the ER after a tumble or the gut-wrenching moment when you find their blood on your hands after a fall?
Is it sitting with them through tears, quietly sobbing so they don’t see your heart break too? Is it cutting their food into minute pieces or buying multiple cups so there’s no fighting over the pink one? Is it the first time they tell you they love you—or maybe the first time they say they hate you?
Is it picking them up when they stumble or helping them rebuild their confidence after a friend lets them down? Is it the moments of frustration when you curse them in private but feel guilty later, or is it the pride you feel bragging about them to friends and family?
Is it displaying their less-than-perfect art, color-coding your schedules, or spending a fortune on gas to drive them to their activities? Is it sending them off to school, keeping tabs on their homework, or being the chaperone for dances? Is it the worry when they go out without you, calling them multiple times just to check in?
Is it saying “yes” when you’d rather say “no,” or sacrificing your own social life for their needs? Or is it the acceptance that one day, they will want their own lives outside of yours?
Honestly, it’s all of these things and yet none of them can fully define being a mom. Motherhood is not a checklist or a measure of love. It’s as elusive and beautiful as that first giggle from your baby. It evolves with your children, always moving forward while occasionally glancing back. It’s about sharing your life with a wonderfully imperfect being who, day in and day out, astounds, frustrates, and surprises you.
And if you’re like me, you might find yourself awake the night before your oldest turns five, reflecting on how quickly time has flown and feeling incredibly thankful that this amazing journey has made you a mom. For more insights on the journey of motherhood, check out our other blog posts, including this one on home insemination. If you’re interested in learning more about the process, Make a Mom provides great resources. Additionally, for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit this excellent resource.
Summary:
Motherhood is a complex journey filled with countless milestones, from the joys of first smiles to the challenges of sleepless nights. It’s a role that evolves with time, encompassing a myriad of experiences that shape a mother’s identity. Ultimately, becoming a mom isn’t defined by a single moment but rather a continuous journey of love, growth, and learning.