Your cart is currently empty!
In Defense of Being a Structured Parent
Hey there! So, I’ve come to realize I’m quite the structured parent, which honestly surprises me. Before kids, I was laid-back and easygoing, the kind of person you could take on spontaneous trips without a second thought. Fast forward to parenthood, and I’m all about routines and schedules.
When my first child was just two weeks old, I stumbled upon a book that swore by strict scheduling. In those hazy, sleep-deprived days, I was ready to embrace anything that promised a solution. If someone had suggested a wild idea like invading a country for sleep, I might have considered it!
We did try to stick to a schedule, but let’s be real—it was more of a guideline. If my son woke up at 6:15 a.m. instead of 7, that sent us into a tailspin! Suddenly, every minute mattered, and we were scrambling to adjust naptimes and bedtimes to fit our “Schedule.” Looking back, it was both absurd and kind of funny, but we were determined to make it work. My sister, a pediatrician, joked that these plans mostly gave us something to focus on while our kids developed their own sleep patterns. Still, because my son was a champion sleeper (maybe thanks to that book or just his cool temperament), we attributed all our success to The Schedule.
As a result, we became pretty rigid about naptimes and bedtimes. I wouldn’t plan anything during those crucial hours, and if something unavoidable came up, I’d get a sitter. Our family’s bedtime routine always kicked off at 7 p.m., and there were no exceptions.
Traveling with our two kids has turned into a whole other adventure. Both of them have a knack for car sickness, and every trip requires weighing the fun against the inevitable clean-up. Plus, none of us sleep well in hotels—our younger one has a knack for waking everyone up in the middle of the night with his howls. More often than not, we decide that staying home is the best choice.
This rigidity has drawn some side-eye from family and friends. We turn down invitations for 6 p.m. parties because that’s when we do dinner, bath, and bedtime. We plan our travel around sleep schedules, even if it means missing out. We take very few trips, and when we do, we try to stay put for as long as we can to maintain our routines without disruption.
I have to admit, it can be a bit of a downer. Writing this makes me sound like a total bore! I used to love traveling—spontaneous weekend getaways were my jam. But right now, I’m prioritizing well-rested kids and predictability over spontaneity. A friend with older kids reassured me that there’s light at the end of the tunnel: “You can travel once they’re out of the napping and diaper stages,” she said. “Last-minute plans will be possible!”
I’m holding onto that hope. Maybe one day, Paris with a 5-year-old and an 8-year-old will be possible—especially if I can snag a last-minute deal.
If you’re curious about more parenting tips, check out this great resource on pregnancy and home insemination from Healthline. And for those looking into fertility, you might find this fertility booster for men to be beneficial.
In the end, I know that life is about choices, and for now, I’m choosing to embrace my structured parenting style.
Summary
The author reflects on her unexpected transition from a laid-back lifestyle to a structured parenting approach focused on routines and schedules. While this has led to some rigidity, especially around travel and social events, she hopes for a future of spontaneity as her kids grow older.