Dear Little One,

home insemination Kit

I’m now 28 weeks and a bit pregnant, and wow, time has flown by! I can definitely feel you getting stronger in there—you’re kicking as I write this. It’s hard to believe I’m nearing the end of this journey, which has mostly been smooth sailing. No morning sickness, minimal symptoms, and I’ve managed to stay pretty chill (at least I think so!). Strangers have only recently started asking about you, and while my belly is definitely growing, it hasn’t been too crazy compared to what some other moms experience.

But here’s the thing—I still don’t feel that deep bond with you yet. I love you, but it’s more like the compassion I feel when I see someone in need, not the intense love I know is coming. You’re not a stranger, but I still feel like I don’t truly know you. Sure, I can predict your moves—like when you kick the heart monitor or squirm around at night—but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m longing for a connection. I know you’re my daughter, but until I can actually see you and hear your cries, it feels like you’re just along for the ride through my day-to-day life (and I’m sorry for some of the stressful moments I’ve put you through!).

I’m terrified of losing you. The “what if” of something happening to you is a fear like no other. But honestly, what scares me the most is the thought of never really getting to know you. I’m confident this will all change once you’re born. I can already picture what you might look like, and that rush of emotion is incredible. Yet, for now, it feels like you’re simply a passenger in my world.

I wonder why I’m sharing these feelings with you. It’s because nobody talks about this part of pregnancy. Social media is full of expectant moms sharing their joy, and while I follow many friends who are pregnant, no one seems to mention struggling with that bond. It leaves you wondering, “Is something wrong with me?” “Why don’t I feel that instant love?” I get it. I often feel like I’m one of the last people anyone would expect to feel this way, but I do. If you ever find yourself in a similar boat, know that it’s okay. This is just a phase; it doesn’t make you a bad mom.

I can’t wait for the day when I finally feel that special bond with you.

Love,
Mom

P.S. If you’re looking for more insights on this journey, there are great resources out there. Check out this post on home insemination kit or visit Make a Mom for tips on boosting your fertility. And for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, the CDC has excellent resources.

Summary: The author expresses her feelings about the lack of a deep bond with her unborn child despite being well into her pregnancy. She shares her fears and acknowledges the societal pressures surrounding pregnancy and motherhood, ultimately conveying that it’s okay to not feel an immediate connection.