My partner, Jake, is a passionate cyclist. He builds bikes from the ground up, logs countless miles every week, and can rattle off any cycling stat you could think of. Living in the Pacific Northwest, he’s what some might call a “Bike Snob.” Cycling brings him joy, purpose, and a sense of fulfillment. Whenever he’s feeling low, he knows that 20 miles of uphill riding will clear his mind. He’s shed some pounds, developed impressive calf muscles, and has lost his sweet tooth along the way.
Honestly, I feel a twinge of jealousy. It’s tough watching him thrive with a passion that not only keeps him fit but also boosts his mental well-being. What gets under my skin is that his passion often feels exclusive to him.
Jake encourages me to embrace cycling too, but surprisingly, his enthusiasm often drives me away. I’ve come to resent the sport a little because it means he’s off pedaling while I’m at home. He has good intentions, and I appreciate it, but it’s hard to convince someone else that their passion should also be yours.
It’s been ages since I’ve felt that kind of spark for anything. Well, unless you count my obsession with coffee or the latest bakery to open in town! Parenting has consumed my time, and as I hit my 40s, I find myself glancing back, wishing I had the same clarity in my life as Jake does in his.
Time seems to be flying by, and I often feel like I’m just waiting for my next chapter to begin, but it hasn’t shown up yet. I have interests—I love writing, making pie crusts, trying new restaurants, and getting lost in a good book. While these hobbies might be adding inches rather than muscle, they still bring me joy in the everyday grind. Still, I’m yearning for something more.
Now that my kids are in their tweens and teens, my parenting style is evolving. While Jake is out exploring the trails, I’m home navigating chores, cooking, and juggling schedules. It’s exhausting, and I can feel a bit of resentment creeping in.
But with the kids at school more often, my schedule has opened up a bit, presenting an opportunity for me to explore something new. This could be my moment! Will I seize it? As women, we often prioritize taking care of others over ourselves, and while we crave opportunities, we can be hesitant to dive in when they do arise.
I’ve realized something important: it doesn’t matter what your passion is. Whether it’s cycling, reading a gripping novel, or something entirely different, what matters is having a passion at all. I owe it to myself to figure out what truly excites me. We all deserve a second act in our lives, but we can’t sit around waiting for it; it’s up to us to make it happen. I’m ready.
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, Emily shares her feelings of envy and longing as she observes her partner’s passion for cycling. As she navigates the challenges of parenting teens, she contemplates her own interests and the need to find her own passion. With a newfound opportunity to explore her identity beyond motherhood, Emily expresses determination to seek out what brings her joy and fulfillment.