5 Things I Wish People Understood About My Nonverbal Child

Hey there! I’m excited to share a bit about my amazing 4-year-old son, Oliver. He’s just like any other kid—full of energy, laughter, and a love for playtime. He loves to run around, dive into tickle fights, groove to catchy tunes, and get lost in bedtime stories. But there’s one big difference: Oliver has autism and doesn’t use spoken words to communicate. This brings its own set of challenges, many of which come from the perceptions of those around him. Sadly, some folks think that because he can’t verbalize, he’s not worth their time. But let me tell you, that couldn’t be further from the truth! Here are five things I really wish people would understand about Oliver.

1. Just because he doesn’t speak doesn’t mean he can’t hear you.

There are two main types of language skills—expressive and receptive. We’ve had his hearing checked, and he can hear just fine in one ear. It’s easy to forget this, but if he ever does start talking, he might surprise us all with some colorful language he picked up from car rides with me! So, please, don’t talk about him as if he’s invisible or use baby talk. Treat him like the wonderful little boy he is; he’s more aware than you might think!

2. Oliver has a great sense of humor.

In fact, he can be quite the little jokester! He’s shown that he gets sarcasm, which is impressive for a kid his age. One of his favorites is when he’s asked to touch something specific but points to the wrong thing instead. He also has a knack for keeping an eye on the clock during speech therapy, as if he knows exactly when his session is up. One time, he pretended to give his speech pathologist a high five, only to run his hand through his hair instead. He cracked himself up! During an evaluation at a well-known autism clinic, he would work on a puzzle but act completely innocent whenever the doctor turned around. If he could whistle, he probably would have!

3. He’s not a movie character like Rain Man.

Sure, we’ve all seen that film, but not all kids with autism have those extraordinary skills. Oliver isn’t going to count toothpicks or compose music on his toy piano. His brain works differently, and that doesn’t come with any magical abilities to show off at parties.

4. He can read people like a pro.

Oliver has an uncanny ability to figure out who’s the easiest target in the room and will charm them effortlessly. He’s like a little hustler, finding the quickest way to get what he wants. He’s played teachers and family members alike. His cuteness can be hard to resist, but trust me, it’s not all hugs and cuddles. I once had to explain to a teacher’s aide that I can’t just hold him all day; he’s 45 pounds of wiggly energy!

5. Oliver is so much more than his autism.

When you see him staring off into space or flapping his hands, remember that he’s a real kid with a great personality who just struggles to communicate. Don’t underestimate him; you might just miss out on getting to know a truly special little boy.

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In summary, my son Oliver is a vibrant and clever child who, despite his nonverbal communication, has a lot to offer. He deserves respect and understanding, just like any other child. Let’s break down the misconceptions and appreciate each child for who they are!