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8 Things to Avoid Saying to a Stay-at-Home Dad
Stay-at-home dads often encounter some pretty unusual comments. Why? Because, for many, the idea of a man in this role is still a bit of a novelty. Even though more men are taking on full-time parenting responsibilities, we often clash with traditional gender norms. The remarks we get can range from innocent curiosity to outright rudeness. Whether we’re at the park, grocery store, or doctor’s office, someone usually has something to say. While many folks, particularly women, support our choices, it seems like more people question our role.
To help out my fellow dads, here’s a lighthearted list of eight things you really shouldn’t say to a stay-at-home dad. This is just a starting point!
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“Is your wife the boss in your family?”
Just because I’m staying at home doesn’t mean I’ve given up any authority in my marriage. My partner and I see our relationship as a team effort; we’re both the “boss.” To be honest, I’m often in my pajamas when I’m home with my child, so if that makes people think my wife is in charge, so be it. She literally does wear pants most of the time! -
“Did you get laid off?”
So you can’t picture a man voluntarily choosing to stay home? You’re assuming I must have lost my job or was somehow inadequate in the office. Here’s a thought: if you can’t wrap your head around a dad wanting to care for his kids full-time, perhaps your understanding of fatherhood is a bit limited. Remember, being a dad isn’t defined by your job status! -
“Are you trying to make a statement about gender roles?”
Nope, I’m not out to prove a point. I’m just doing what works best for my family. My partner is an amazing mom, but my personality suits being home with the kids. I embrace the chaotic life of a stay-at-home dad, and while I deal with the daily challenges of toddlerhood, I’m not looking for praise—just maybe a badge for my efforts! -
“When are you going to get a real job?”
Seriously, have you spent time with a toddler? If you had, you’d know that taking care of little ones is one of the toughest jobs out there, and it doesn’t come with a paycheck. If my kid decides to skip a nap, it’s a whole different ball game! -
“Do you feel weird about your wife being the primary earner?”
Let’s leave the 1950s behind; those outdated gender roles aren’t my problem. If you feel uncomfortable with a woman making more money, that’s on you. Real men do what’s best for their families, not what feeds their egos! -
“Are you babysitting?”
This one just makes me want to roll my eyes. You wouldn’t ask a woman that, so why me? I’m not babysitting; I’m being a dad—a role every father should embrace. Babysitting is for teenagers making a few bucks on the side, not for dedicated parents like me. -
“Are you Mr. Mom?”
No, I’m not Mr. Mom. That term was amusing a couple of decades ago, but it’s outdated now. I’m simply a dad who wants to be hands-on with my kids, and I don’t need a label that implies I’m acting like a woman to do so. -
“You must have a lot of spare time to watch TV all day?”
I might catch an hour of TV while hanging out with my toddler, but trust me, it’s mostly kids’ shows like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. The reality is, during my child’s first year, nap time was my only real break, and even that was a power nap to keep my sanity intact.
The next time someone questions my status as a stay-at-home dad, I might just use my buddy’s response: “I retired at 35 after winning the lottery.”
In summary, being a stay-at-home dad comes with a unique set of challenges and stereotypes. Although many people are supportive, it’s common to encounter ignorant or rude remarks. Understanding and respect go a long way when it comes to parenting choices.
For more insights on parenting and family-building options, check out this excellent resource on family-building options. And if you’re interested in home insemination, you can learn more about that here too!