First Birthday Celebration: Surprise Party!

Hey friends! So, here’s the scoop: I’ve reached the conclusion that throwing a party for my little one’s first birthday might not be the best idea, but I simply can’t let this milestone pass without a celebration. There will definitely be cake (which could be a health risk, and possibly a fire hazard). Expect a ton of well-meaning strangers wanting to hold her, hug her, or otherwise annoy her. And yes, there will be plenty of adult beverages—because if anyone deserves to celebrate, it’s me, right? Just kidding, it’s all about her. Well, kind of.

After doing some digging, I found that the best first birthday bashes are typically small, cozy get-togethers, ideally in a space that the baby recognizes and at a time that doesn’t disrupt their daily routine. Sounds sensible, right? But let’s be real—first birthdays are more about the joy of delusion. So, I’m choosing to ignore all the sensible advice in favor of throwing a spectacular bash that’s bound to be a chaotic adventure.

If you’re like me and have visions of a grand birthday celebration dancing in your head, let me share what I’ve meticulously planned. Because honestly, isn’t it part of parenting to invest hours into planning, only to have it all go sideways thanks to your unpredictable child?

You’re Invited to Our Little One’s Surprise 1st Birthday!

Occasion: Baby’s 1st Birthday
Theme: Surprise Party!
Time: Somewhere between naps. Maybe 1 PM to 4 PM? Or 3 PM to 6 PM? Just to be safe, let’s say 3:30 PM to 6:30 PM. Any later may mess with bedtime. I could just text you 15 minutes before we arrive, right?
Location: Here’s the deal—I’m not really keen on having you all in my home. Since my adorable little one entered our lives, our house has turned into a bit of a disaster zone, one that even the most optimistic real estate agent would struggle to sell. “It’s a fixer-upper with tons of potential,” I can hear them saying. So, to avoid the mess, I’m thinking of hosting at a local restaurant or café, or even better—a bar!

Logistics:

I’ll figure out how to get the birthday girl to the venue. Maybe I’ll tell her we’re off to check out a new running path. Ha! Just remember, when we show up, please don’t shout “Surprise!” because that will definitely freak her out and probably result in a meltdown (and yes, she might poop herself, but that’s just a regular occurrence).

Guest List:

Everyone is welcome! Bring along your partners, friends, and family—everyone! Kids are allowed on a case-by-case basis, but ideally, we’d like to keep the adult-to-kid ratio around 15-to-1. As for my partner’s ex, I’ve decided to include her as a bonus babysitter since I’m just that generous.

Gift Ideas:

My daughter has a newfound love for wine—seriously! She gets a kick out of pulling wine bottles off the rack (thanks to me!). If you’re wondering, she seems to prefer sauvignon blanc and dry riesling. Go figure!

Party Games:

Our little one loves playing Hide-and-Seek with the TV remote and a Scavenger Hunt for Food on the Floor. There might even be a bonus game of Bang on the Computer Keyboard. First to delete an important document wins!

Reminder:

If you speak to our daughter in the lead-up to the party, DO NOT MENTION IT! You’ll ruin the surprise. Also, if I decide to bake a cake or buy decorations, it might raise suspicions, so it’s better if someone else handles that.

Final Thoughts:

Just a heads up, our sweetie won’t remember a thing from this party, and I doubt she’ll enjoy it much either. This is really more about me and her dad celebrating our yearly victory in parenting. One year down, and no signs of emotional issues yet (well, aside from the usual toddler antics). We’re killing it!

Thanks for reading, and I can’t wait to see you there!