Will My Child Ever Be Potty Trained?

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I think it’s safe to say I’m a potty training parent in a bit of a pickle. I recently purchased a children’s book titled Percy the Poop—yes, you read that right. This book features a talking log of poop, hoping to help my daughter grasp the concept of where it belongs (spoiler alert: it’s in the potty).

It’s now been a whole year since we embarked on this potty training journey. A full year! What a wild 365 days it’s been, and we’re still not at the finish line.

Potty training took us by surprise. One weekend, my then 2-year-old declared she wanted to use the potty. It seemed so simple. I can count on one hand the number of times she’s had accidents with pee since then.

“This is fantastic!” my partner and I thought. “So easy! What’s all this fuss other parents are talking about?” Well, the fuss is all about poop, my friends.

While I know that every child’s experience with potty training is unique, ours has been a saga centered entirely around poop. Who would have thought that this basic biological function could turn into such a monumental challenge?

My Attempts at Potty Training

Before you start suggesting solutions, let me tell you—I’ve tried it all. Here’s just a glimpse of my efforts to coax my daughter into pooping on the potty:

• Offering small rewards.
• Offering larger rewards.
• Using a toddler potty chair.
• Moving the potty chair around the house.
• Trying a Disney-themed toilet seat insert.
• Setting up a potty money jar for every successful poop (currently, it holds one penny).
• Creating a sticker chart with big, splashy stickers.
• Letting her watch videos and even full movies as a distraction.
• Offering her treats and special snacks.
• Reading poop-themed books (yes, including Percy).
• Showing her how to transfer poop from her underwear to the toilet.
• Making her help clean up messes.
• Letting her sit in dirty underwear to understand discomfort—she’s unfazed!
• Allowing her to choose a pull-up when she wants to poop.
• Spending long periods sitting with her in the bathroom.
• Taking her to the store to pick out fun new underwear.
• Going bare-bottomed at home (sorry to our guests).
• Letting her “decorate” the poop in the potty with glitter or color tablets.

I cheer her on daily. I’ve even resorted to singing silly songs about poop. I’ve tried bribery, shed tears of frustration, and even yelled. I’ve explained it in adult terms: “Poop goes in the toilet. No other place.” I’ve also simplified it for her: “Guess what? Poop loves to swim! When you poop in the potty, it goes for a swim!”

I often doubt my sanity after having such conversations. I’ve even joined a potty training support group online. Yet, here we are, still struggling.

The real issue is my daughter’s stubbornness. She knows she’s supposed to go on the potty but simply refuses. There’s no discernible pattern to when she poops, which makes it hard to anticipate. I’ve become hyper-aware, almost like a detective, scanning her for any signs that an accident might be imminent. It’s exhausting and nerve-wracking.

“Just relax,” people say. “She’ll figure it out eventually. You don’t see high schoolers pooping their pants!” I wish they understood how truly frustrating this can be. Yes, I know she’ll get it eventually, but that doesn’t lessen the struggle or the mess.

As I scrub out yet another pair of dirty underwear, I remind myself that someday, this will all be behind us. And then I remember that I’ll likely have another child to potty train. Shiiiiiiiiiiit.

Additional Resources

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In summary, potty training can be a challenging journey filled with unexpected twists and turns. Every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another. But with persistence and a little creativity, you’ll eventually find the approach that clicks.