Why Breastfeeding My Toddlers Was a Great Choice for Us

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A dozen years ago, when my first child was a toddler, we had some friends over for dinner. As we were chatting in the living room, our adorable nearly-3-year-old came up to me, leaned on the arm of my chair, and casually dropped a verbal bombshell. Just three little words, and she said them so casually, like she was offering me a cookie. I nearly spat out my drink.

“Wanna nurse?”

I watched as our friends’ jaws dropped, and then I broke the stunned silence with laughter. “No, thanks,” I replied. “Maybe later.” Thankfully, our little one accepted that and happily skipped away. “Did she just say what I think she said?” my friend asked.

Yep, she did.

All three of my kids nursed until they were just over 3 years old. By that time, it was pretty rare for our daughter to ask. We had mostly cut back to nursing only at bedtime and in the morning, but we were still in the process of weaning. What our friends witnessed was part of that journey. They laughed along with me, but I can only imagine how surprising it must have been for them to hear a talking child ask to nurse, especially if they weren’t used to it.

Clarifying Misconceptions About Extended Nursing

Before I dive into the reasons we chose to breastfeed for so long, let me first clarify a few misconceptions about extended nursing:

  1. It was not to make anyone uncomfortable.
  2. I wasn’t trying to make a statement or prove a point.
  3. I’m not overly attached to breastfeeding, nor do I have any weird obsessions.
  4. I didn’t seek attention or validation.
  5. I don’t need my children to rely on me.
  6. I certainly don’t think I’m a superior mother.
  7. I know how to say no when needed.
  8. I’m not afraid of my kids growing up.
  9. I wasn’t too lazy to feed them real food.
  10. I definitely wasn’t seeking a trophy.

Those are some common misconceptions about moms who breastfeed beyond the “acceptable” timeframe, but none of them applied to me (okay, maybe No. 8 is true, but that’s a different story).

10 Genuine Reasons We Chose to Breastfeed Our Toddlers

  1. Comfort: Nursing was our toddlers’ main source of comfort from birth. Just like some kids have pacifiers or stuffed animals, nursing was a soothing option for ours. I believe that was a big factor in their calm demeanor during their terrible twos.
  2. Nutrition: Breastmilk maintains its nutritional value, and as kids grow, they still benefit from the protein, fats, and vitamins it provides. There’s no hard rule that says you have to switch to cow’s milk at one year.
  3. Cost-Effective: Breastmilk is completely free! Why spend money on cow’s milk or alternatives when I had a ready supply available at no cost?
  4. Convenience: When my nursing toddler asked for milk, I could stay seated—no need to get up. It’s like having a portable cooler of sippy cups!
  5. Research: With a mom who’s a lactation consultant, I grew up understanding the benefits of breastfeeding. There’s a mountain of research supporting extended nursing, and none showing it does any harm.
  6. Respect: My kids were genuinely interested in continuing to nurse. When I started to feel less enthusiastic about it, I didn’t want to abruptly cut them off. We took our time with the weaning process, honoring their attachment.
  7. Calmness: Toddlers can be little whirlwinds, and nursing provided a calm oasis several times a day. This helped reduce tantrums, which is always a plus!
  8. Body Image: While this reason is more about vanity, I did appreciate the physical benefits of breastfeeding. It helped me lose baby weight and gave me a little boost in the body department.
  9. Experience: I was breastfed until I was 2.5 years old, and my husband until he was 4. We both turned out fine, proving it’s not as odd as some might think!
  10. Confidence: I knew there were many mothers nursing toddlers, so I felt reassured in my choice. It helped that I was surrounded by supportive people who understood.

If you met my kids today, you wouldn’t even know they were nursed until age 3. They don’t remember it and don’t think twice about it. The societal discomfort surrounding “extended” breastfeeding is purely cultural, and most arguments against it lack substance.

I get that some moms don’t want to nurse that long, and that’s perfectly fine. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends at least one year, while the World Health Organization suggests two years or as long as it works for both mother and child.

Ultimately, we shouldn’t pressure ourselves or judge others for their choices in motherhood. If you’re curious about my reasons for nursing longer, please feel free to ask!

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In summary, breastfeeding my toddlers was a rewarding and beneficial experience that worked well for our family. While it’s not for everyone, it’s essential to respect each mother’s journey and choices.