I’ve got a bit of a character flaw—my temper can flare up pretty quickly. Mix that with my perfectionist tendencies, and you’ve got a recipe for some awkward moments of being uncomfortably wrong.
Honestly, I can’t count how many times I’ve had to apologize to my kids for losing my cool, often resembling their own meltdowns during their terrible twos. Now that they’re tweens and teens, our lives are crazier than ever, which has led to more shouting than I’d like to admit. But here I am, ready to make my point.
I grew up in a household where yelling was the norm, but I can’t recall my parents ever saying they were sorry. As a kid, that left me feeling small and less than. So, when I became a parent, I thought my word was the final say, and anything else was simply wrong. It took a while and some reflecting on my own childhood to see my kids needed to hear me apologize.
There’s certainly a debate about whether or not we should apologize to our kids, but I believe we absolutely should. Here’s why:
1. It teaches them how to apologize.
We always tell our kids they need to say sorry when they hurt someone else. But they learn best by watching us. When I mess up, I need to own it and say I’m sorry. Seeing me do that helps them understand when and how to apologize.
2. It shows respect.
Kids are people too. If I can apologize to an adult I’ve wronged, I should extend that same respect to my children. If I don’t apologize to them, I send the message that they aren’t worthy of my respect. I never want them to think that.
3. It keeps us humble and teachable.
I’m excited to be on this never-ending learning journey. I make mistakes, and I learn something new every day. When I apologize for my missteps, I see it as another lesson learned—one that I hope to pass on to my kids.
4. It reminds them that parents aren’t perfect.
Just like them, we mess up sometimes. I want my kids to understand that even their beloved parent can make mistakes and fix them. That’s an important life lesson.
I know I’ll continue to make mistakes as a person and as a parent. The key is to remember to apologize when I need to—because it’s simply the right thing to do.
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In sum, owning up to our mistakes with our kids can help teach them valuable lessons about respect, humility, and the importance of acknowledging our imperfections.