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Your Child Will Bring You Joy (Even If It Feels Distant Right Now)
During my pregnancy, I had the opportunity to meet with at least eight different healthcare professionals over numerous appointments, mainly focused on my mental health, which had taken a nosedive after the surprise of an unexpected pregnancy.
Each professional had their own unique way of reassuring me that once my baby arrived, my life would be transformed, and all the challenges of pregnancy would seem trivial in comparison. Some simply assured me that everything would turn out fine, while others guided me toward recognizing my own strengths in facing parenthood.
To be honest, much of what they said faded from my memory, as I tended to compartmentalize those conversations (and my entire pregnancy) under ‘Things I’d Prefer to Forget.’ However, one particular appointment resonates with me. My doctor shared a poignant story about a patient whose father, also in medicine, had treated when she was young. She prefaced the tale by encouraging me to interpret it in my own way, but to hold on to her words for the tougher days ahead.
This patient had found herself unexpectedly pregnant, struggling with the new life direction. Like me, she had wavered on whether to continue with the pregnancy but ultimately chose against termination. Despite that decision, she faced ongoing challenges during her pregnancy, plagued by doubts about her choice. Through it all, my doctor provided support to her and her husband, and after the baby was born, she would often see this family of three around their shared village.
One day, while at the beach with her father, my doctor spotted this family happily walking along the shore. The parents were joyfully swinging their now-toddler between them, who was giggling with delight. Instead of approaching them, her father observed with a smile, recounting how this mother had previously struggled to find joy in her pregnancy but now, despite the challenges, they were a beautiful, happy family.
At the time, as I listened to this story, all I could think was that becoming a parent would never bring me happiness. I couldn’t fathom how a baby could bring joy, and I feared that everyone would question how we’d manage it all. The Northern One and I decided to continue with the pregnancy largely because I wasn’t ready to face termination, rather than out of excitement for parenthood. My mind was filled with visions of endless crying, sleepless nights, and sacrifices I felt unprepared to make.
I hadn’t revisited that story until recently when the Northern One and I took our little one, Sam, to the park. Despite the gray skies and drizzling rain, I watched Sam as he squealed with delight on the swings, kicking his chubby little legs and throwing his head back in laughter. The wind tousled his hair, turning his cheeks a rosy hue, and in that moment, he seemed like the happiest boy alive.
As I observed him, a realization hit me—I was genuinely happy. The story my doctor told once appeared contrived and overly sentimental to me, but now, instead of imagining three strangers on the beach, I envisioned the Northern One and me each holding one of Sam’s hands, his face lighting up with joy as he jumped and swung between us, splashing in the water and kicking up sand.
Part of me wishes my doctor could witness this transformation, but then I think she probably already could.
If you’re navigating similar feelings, remember that joy can grow unexpectedly. And if you’re interested in exploring options like home insemination, check out this article on intracervical insemination. For those considering fertility supplements, Make A Mom offers valuable insights. Plus, WebMD is an excellent resource for understanding various pregnancy and home insemination treatments.
Summary:
This heartfelt reflection chronicles the journey from uncertainty to joy in motherhood. The author shares her struggles during pregnancy, recounting a doctor’s story that initially seemed far-fetched but ultimately became a reality as she found happiness in her child. The narrative emphasizes that despite initial doubts, the joy of parenthood can emerge unexpectedly, bringing fulfillment and love.