I Believe in Spanking

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I once thought that parents who spanked their kids could be neatly divided into two groups: those who didn’t believe in God and those who did, with both somehow convinced that a good smack was the best way to discipline. The non-religious spankers often claimed their parents did it, and “look how well I turned out!” I never had the guts to point out, “Well, you turned out to be a bit of a jerk, didn’t you?” Instead, I would roll my eyes and walk away, feeling a bit superior, convinced I could do better. I was all about logic, time-outs, and ensuring my kids never felt the sting of a loving hand.

Then there were the religious folks who twisted scripture to justify their spanking habits. It wasn’t just a justification; it was a divine mandate! They believed God commanded them to use the rod of discipline, or their children would be consumed by their sinful nature. My inner voice would scream in disbelief—how could a loving God advocate for such behavior?

Then I became pregnant. Suddenly, my hormones had me voice everything I thought, from how a glass of wine could ruin a fetus to my passionate views on child-rearing. I frequently sparred with my sister-in-law, whom I dubbed “Ms. Spankytown,” sending her every article I could find on the harm of spanking. Honestly, I was a bit of a know-it-all.

When my son arrived, he was colicky, transitioning from constant crying to relentless whining. He had opinions on everything—his peas were too green, his cereal too cold. After the whining phase, he became what some might call “strong-willed”—which is just a nice way of saying he was a handful.

We tried reasoning with him when he yanked the cat’s tail or threw blocks. He laughed. We tried time-outs when he flat-out refused to get in the car or screamed “NOOO” when asked to change his shirt. He just laughed and stuck his tongue out. Praising him for good choices? Nope. He grinned while pouring his milk right into my shoe. Natural consequences? He didn’t care if he was cold outside without his coat.

Then one day, he slapped me.

That was when I discovered a third type of spanker—parents who feel they have no choice but to resort to the age-old method of discipline that has worked for generations. All my carefully crafted ideals about raising children with love and logic vanished. I calmly turned him around, pulled down his pants, and gave him a swift smack on his little bottom. No arguments, no pleading—just a firm, “You will not hit mommy. That’s disrespectful. I’m in charge.”

He cried, big tears rolling down his cheeks, clearly shocked. I was a little shaken too. We cuddled for a moment, and I told him I loved him. He got over it quickly. I didn’t break his spirit; he’s still my strong-willed child, but now he thinks twice before acting and shows respect.

My views on spanking have shifted. I no longer see parents who spank as abusers; they’re simply strong-willed and maybe a tad desperate.

If you’re interested in more about parenting and family dynamics, check out some resources like Progyny for insightful articles on pregnancy and home insemination, or learn more about at-home insemination options with Make A Mom for effective tools to consider. And remember to review our privacy policy for more information.

In summary, my experience led me to understand that sometimes parents feel pushed into disciplinary actions they never thought they would take. It’s a learning curve, and every family navigates it in their own way.