Before You Share Your Wisdom with New Parents, Reflect on Your Own Experience

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We’ve all been there—seasoned parents often can’t resist sharing their thoughts with new moms and dads. While their intentions are usually well-meaning, the advice they dispense can feel less than helpful to those navigating sleepless nights and overwhelming emotions. Phrases like “Cherish every moment!” can be both frustrating and patronizing. Let’s be honest: no one truly cherishes every second of a colicky baby wailing for hours or a toddler throwing a fit in the grocery store.

So, the next time your kids are older and you find yourself wanting to impart “friendly advice” to the weary-looking new parents you encounter, pause for a moment and think back to how those comments made you feel during your own exhausting days. Here’s a little reminder:

• “Make sure to take care of yourself so you can take better care of the baby.”
  How it felt: I need a miracle worker to do that, not just a reminder!
• “If you breastfeed, you’ll lose all that baby weight in no time.”
  How it felt: I’m not a royal, and if I hear one more thing about my post-baby body, I might just lose it.
• “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
  How it felt: Great idea! But when do I eat, shower, or deal with the pile of laundry threatening to take over?
• “Make time for yourself away from the baby.”
  How it felt: Sure, just let me find a babysitter on a non-existent budget.
• “Don’t forget to nurture your relationship with your partner.”
  How it felt: Right, because I’m just overflowing with romantic energy right now!
• “Don’t try to do too much in one day; the chores can wait.”
  How it felt: I’d love to know what planet you’re living on where laundry and groceries just disappear.
• “The days are long, but the years are short.”
  How it felt: Sounds poetic, but can I just have a nap first?

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In summary, it’s always good to be mindful of the emotions new parents are experiencing. Instead of offering unsolicited advice, consider sharing your own stories with empathy and understanding. A little kindness goes a long way!