Back to School: A Comparison of the 1970s and Today

Back to School in the 1970s

1. As August winds down, take the kids downtown for some shopping at Sears. It’s time for new school clothes! Grab a couple of pairs of corduroys and some striped t-shirts. The boys get dungarees, while the girls will rock some culottes. No, Samantha, you can’t have that bright orange poncho. Promise to crochet her a cooler one with extra fringe! Don’t forget to grab a pack of that fuzzy rainbow yarn they love to wear in their hair. All done for just $43.00, and now it’s time for grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate milk at Woolworth’s lunch counter.
2. On the eve of the first school day (that’s the Sunday night after Labor Day, if you’re counting), pile the kids into the back of the station wagon and race to Eckerds, K-Mart, or Dollar General. Hurry them to the back-to-school section to pick out their lunchboxes. Remind them they need to hurry because you have bedtime to stick to, and they might miss out on The Wonderful World of Disney! If Kimberly can’t choose between Holly Hobbie and The Bionic Woman, you’re picking Pigs in Space—no more discussion. Toss in a composition notebook and a pack of pencils; that’s all they really need. And don’t forget to save some grocery bags to cover those textbooks!
3. On your way out, grab a pack of Virginia Slims and enjoy a few on the drive home.
4. Rise and shine! Brew yourself a cup of Sanka with Sweet ‘n’ Low. Line up those lunchboxes on the Formica countertop and get to work.
5. Slather yellow mustard on bread, add bologna, then top it off with American cheese. Wrap each sandwich in foil or wax paper, pop them in lunchboxes, and everyone gets the same meal—no exceptions!
6. Alternate sandwich choices can include peanut butter and jelly, leftover roast beef, or the ever-popular tuna salad with onions and celery.
7. Toss some Planter’s Cheese Balls into baggies and seal them.
8. Don’t forget to put a Twinkie in each box.
9. Fill thermoses with Kool-Aid or whole milk.
10. Include a red delicious apple, even if it’s destined to come home uneaten. That’s okay; just keep adding the same one until it’s practically a science experiment.
11. Seal up those lunchboxes, and you’re done! The kids will grab their lunches, along with a frosted Pop-Tart, as they walk half a mile to the bus stop. Put on some Barry Manilow and celebrate your newfound freedom until dinner!

Back to School Today

1. Take a deep breath and give yourself a pep talk. There’s still time before school starts! Remember to order those BPA-free bento boxes and eco-friendly tiffins that weren’t produced in sweatshops. Amazon Prime is your friend, and you can read reviews while the kids are at their summer “camp” (which is just another term for school, right?).
2. One week later, your bento boxes arrive, along with a 3.5-page school supply list that includes not only paper and pens but also a ten-pound bag of flour and a massive pack of toilet paper!
3. Begin a frantic search for stylish yet eco-friendly backpacks; of course, they must be monogrammed.
4. Take the kids to the mall for new outfits. After a shopping spree at Gymboree and Crew Cuts, your credit card is $2,387.07 lighter.
5. Schedule a session with a child psychologist for mental prep for the new grade and teacher.
6. Carefully review the allergy list from school, stressing over what you can and can’t pack for lunch. Make notes to avoid allergens when shopping at Whole Foods.
7. Purchase supplies for your kids, not to be confused with the classroom supplies you must also buy. This includes everything from notebooks to a graphing calculator and possibly even a centrifuge!
8. Grocery shopping at Whole Foods takes forever because you have to read every label to ensure everything is organic, gluten-free, and local. You end up with a few items and a $76.19 bill.
9. The night before school starts, prepare the Bento boxes with organic strawberries cut into fun shapes, homemade nut-free granola, and a vegan sandwich shaped like Disney characters. Snap a photo and share it on Instagram.
10. Write an encouraging note with an inspirational quote for your child.
11. Add a few stickers for fun.
12. Fill a water bottle with filtered water and toss in some chilled coconut water for hydration.
13. Blog about this experience, hoping it goes viral.
14. Rise at 4 AM on the first day, making signs for the kids to hold in a photo shoot on your doorstep. Create a full back-to-school photo booth!
15. Whip up pancakes shaped like letters.
16. Coordinate outfits for the kids and spend over half an hour capturing the perfect shots.
17. Load everyone in the car for the school drop-off.
18. Once they’re settled in their classrooms, take a moment to cry in the car. But it’s all right; you’ll be back to pick them up in a few hours for their Synchronized Swimming, Cello, and Urdu classes.

Conclusion

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In summary, the back-to-school experience has evolved dramatically from the 1970s to today, showcasing a shift from simplicity to a more complex, stress-filled process. Now, parents juggle elaborate lunch preparations, eco-conscious shopping, and managing potential allergies while trying to keep their kids happy and healthy.

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