25 Concerns Moms Have About Their Child’s First Day of Kindergarten

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As my eldest is gearing up for kindergarten, the reality of it all is sinking in. Soon, he’ll hop on a big yellow school bus full of children, many older than him, facing new routines and expectations. Like any parent, I’m filled with a mix of excitement and dread. I’ll finally have time to tackle all those neglected chores, like cleaning out the pantry (or maybe just enjoying a nap). Yet, while I eagerly count down to that pivotal first day, a wave of worries keeps crashing over me.

While many parents might fret about their little ones shedding a few tears, my fears are a bit more… colorful. My 5-year-old is a lively character with opinions that are as solid as concrete. I know he won’t be crying, but I just might, thanks to these 25 worries:

1. Will he mistakenly think it’s snack time and eat glue?
2. What if a mischievous kid tries to bully him for his juice box?
3. How will he react when he finds out no more Wild Kratts after lunch?
4. Will my little chatterbox accidentally let an inappropriate word slip?
5. He takes forever in the bathroom – what will happen when he needs to go?
6. If someone insists that cheetahs are faster than elephants, will he argue loudly?
7. Modesty is not his strong suit – what if he decides to run around without clothes?
8. He loves to pee outside; will he try that at school?
9. Is he going to correct the teacher like he does me with “Excuse me, that’s wrong!”?
10. Will he wipe his nose on the teacher’s sleeve during class?
11. What if he tells the teacher that his dad has the stinkiest farts ever?
12. Will he only munch on cookies and come home with a note about healthier lunches?
13. What if he shouts, “This is boring!” during a lesson?
14. Will gym class turn into him yelling, “Hey! Look at me!” every five minutes?
15. Seriously, bathroom breaks could take ages – what happens if he misses half the lesson?
16. Will he forget where to get off the bus?
17. Is he going to embarrass me by saying, “My mom laughs so hard she pees her pants”?
18. What if he’s the only kid without a new friend?
19. Will he come home claiming he’s got 17 new girlfriends?
20. Is he going to show off his superhero underwear during Show and Tell like he did with the mailman?
21. Will he jump up during lessons to demonstrate his ninja skills?
22. Will he rally the kids for a kindergarten version of Fight Club at recess?
23. Am I going to get that dreaded call from the principal?
24. Is he going to give a fellow student an unsolicited haircut with scissors?
25. Will he be thrilled or upset to learn that school is an all-day affair?

I’m almost certain that at least a few of these will happen, so I’m preparing myself for the chaos. Maybe I could bribe the teacher with chocolate and a nice bottle of wine if my son proves to be a handful at school too. Until then, I’m just trying to enjoy the last few lazy days of summer.

For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out our other blog post on the terms and conditions here. And if you’re interested in learning more about the topic, this is a great resource!

Summary

Starting kindergarten can be an emotional rollercoaster for both parents and kids. While the excitement is palpable, there are plenty of concerns that swirl around in a mom’s mind, from classroom behavior to social interactions. It’s a big step for little ones, and the transition can be filled with amusing yet nerve-wracking scenarios.