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Never Trust a Trick Baby
Meet your firstborn, an adorable baby who lights up any room with his easy smile. The daycare staff rave about how calm and laid-back he is. His only drooling comes from teething, and he rarely experiences spit-up. By the time he hits 4 months, he’s already sleeping soundly for 7 to 8 hours straight. Family gatherings are a breeze as he’s passed around without a hint of separation anxiety. If he does get upset, it’s usually a quick fix with a bottle or a cuddle, or maybe a stroll outside.
Congratulations! You’ve struck gold with this easygoing little one.
But beware! This is a trick baby.
While it might seem like a dream come true, having a trick baby can be a bit of a double-edged sword. You’ll find your confidence as a parent skyrocketing. You might even feel a little smug when chatting with friends who are frazzled and sleepless, sharing tales of their babies who cry unless held or who have spit-up issues that require bibs the size of toddler shirts. But your little angel doesn’t do any of that—after all, he’s a trick baby!
This trickster will have you believing that parenting is a walk in the park. You’ll watch him sleep peacefully in his crib, gently rubbing his back without fear of waking him, before sneaking off to enjoy a full night’s rest yourself. Surely, you’ve inherited some kind of golden parenting genes! It can’t just be luck that you have the easiest baby around.
Your trick baby will lead you to think that all babies are like him. You might even catch yourself trying to relate to your mom friends, only to realize the absurdity of your own experiences. “Oh, he had a bit of trouble sleeping last night because of teething. It took him almost 15 minutes to settle down.” You’ll know you sound ridiculous, but you just can’t help it—after all, you’ve got a trick baby.
But here’s the kicker: your perfect little cherub might just trick you into thinking you’re ready for another baby—immediately! Just look at how wonderfully easy he is.
Don’t be fooled. Your trick baby is a master of deception.
If you’re lucky enough to have this sweet little creature as your firstborn, cherish every moment, but keep in mind that he’s an exception. The reality is that your future babies are unlikely to follow in his easygoing footsteps.
Your trick baby paves the way for what’s likely to come next: a normal baby. You know, the kind that’s colicky, sleep-resistant, and prone to constant clinginess. If you let your trick baby sway your judgment, you might find yourself juggling two little ones born a mere 18 months apart—one of whom might be an unholy terror.
This is all in the best interest of trick baby, who will have just discovered the joys of walking. He knows that if he can charm you into a second baby while you’re still basking in the glow of his perfection, he’ll be free to explore the world—while you’re left trying to manage an exhausting new reality.
So, consider this your friendly warning about the trick baby. Enjoy the ride, but don’t let your guard down!
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Summary
The piece humorously warns parents of the deceptive ease of a “trick baby,” who may lead parents to believe that all babies are easy. The author encourages parents to enjoy their firstborn but remain cautious about the challenges of future children.