Cut the Onesie Off and Other Permissions for New Moms

home insemination Kit

New parents find themselves longing for a variety of things: uninterrupted sleep, hot showers, meals enjoyed with both hands, and laundry that is actually folded and put away. Did I mention sleep? As a new mom, I’ve learned that what we really don’t need more of is the same old clichéd advice. We’ve all heard the classics:

• “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Sure, but what about checking how many likes my latest Instagram post about being tired has? Priorities, right?
• “Sleep train or don’t sleep train; do it now, or wait until they’re older.” It’s as clear as mud. Instead, I’ll just observe my baby’s sleep cues and, you guessed it, “sleep when the baby sleeps.”
• “Forget about the laundry—your baby won’t be a baby forever.” That’s great, but how many of my dirty underwear are you willing to wear?

No matter how well-meaning the advice might be, in the intimate journey of parenthood, it often benefits the adviser more than the one receiving it. This includes the suggestions I’m about to share. Hopefully, they’ll feel a bit more relatable (and sensible) than your great-aunt Edna’s, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”

I’m fully aware of the irony in offering advice while critiquing advice. So consider the following not as rigid rules, but as “permissions” to grant yourself, new mama.

1. Cut the Onesie Off.

Picture this: your adorable, perfect newborn has just gone and completely ruined her diaper. And I mean really ruined it. For a moment, you might think about pulling the onesie over her head or down her body. Either option leads to a messy situation. Give yourself the go-ahead to cut the onesie off. It was $35? Lesson learned—expensive baby clothes are a waste. Cut it off. It used to be your favorite? Well, not anymore; it’s now a poop-covered relic. Just remember, blades toward the feet!

2. Awkwardly Breastfeed in Public.

If breastfeeding isn’t your thing, feel free to skip to #3. If you are nursing, you might feel a mix of embarrassment and empowerment when it comes to public feeding. It’s perfectly normal to feel awkward about exposing yourself to strangers. Someone might even say, “Cover up!” or “That’s inappropriate.” When that happens, your baby will likely unlatch and stare at the person, adding to the awkwardness of the moment.

In my initial days of nursing in public, I naively thought, “I wish someone would challenge me!” But in truth, I hoped no one would, because it can be clumsy and embarrassing. Even if nursing feels like the most natural thing in the world, that doesn’t mean you won’t feel shy. Don’t let that hold you back, though. Embrace the awkwardness. You survived middle school, right? It gets easier, and hey, at least your skin has probably cleared up since then!

3. Doubt Means Don’t.

I’m borrowing this mantra from Oprah—because who doesn’t love a good Oprah quote? We live in a world overflowing with parenting information; it can be overwhelming. If you’re unsure, trust your instincts. If it feels off, it probably is.

Create a supportive community around you. Seek out groups that inspire your parenting style, whether that’s online or in-person. And when something doesn’t resonate, take a step back. Unplug for a bit until you can reconnect with your intuition. Remember, trust yourself, mama. Dismiss unwanted advice, including mine!

In summary, embrace the beautiful chaos of motherhood, allow yourself to make unconventional choices, and don’t hesitate to trust your instincts, even if that means cutting a onesie or awkwardly nursing in public. You’re doing great, and remember, parenting is a journey best taken with a supportive community.

For more insights on home insemination, you can check out this article or explore this resource for tips on self insemination. Additionally, March of Dimes offers excellent guidance for pregnancy.