I can hardly believe I’m about to say this. “If someone is bothering you, just kindly ask them to stop.”
Ugh, I can’t even. That’s me cringing at the thought of guiding my daughters to handle bullies with politeness. I’m frustrated with myself for encouraging them to be too restrained when facing the world.
Honestly, I’m raising my daughters to be timid. No, let me rephrase that—I’m raising them to be soft and passive, much like I’ve been. Phew! Now we’re talking. (See, I’m such a coward. I didn’t even have the guts to put “soft and passive” in the title. Sigh.)
I might present a brave front, acting like the fierce mom who can handle anything life throws her way. I strut my confidence like it’s the latest fashion trend. But deep down, I often find myself hesitating to be assertive when the situation calls for it. My voice falters when confronted with real confrontation.
With my weak attempts at wisdom, I’m telling my daughters to be cautious and reserved. I can only imagine how this will play out in their lives. Picture this:
A child is shoving my daughter down a slide repeatedly. She’s scared of falling. Because I’ve taught her to be polite, she might turn around and say sweetly, “Hey, could you please stop pushing me down the slide?” But let’s be real—most likely, that other kid won’t care. Another shove and bam! My daughter falls, hurts herself, and all because I prioritized niceness over her safety.
Let’s applaud my parenting skills for raising a child who might just become a victim. Preserving politeness in the playground is apparently more important than my child’s self-worth.
Like many women, I’ve been conditioned to prioritize being polite—even when I’m being treated unfairly. I’ve been polite in situations where I’ve been mistreated, and I often shrink back even when I feel threatened.
I shouldn’t tolerate these injustices. I know this, yet fear holds me back. Fear of losing my job, friendships, or even respect. Fear of being labeled as difficult or emotional. Fear of losing my reputation.
When faced with aggressive behavior, I tend to recoil, losing my confidence and allowing the situation to overwhelm me. Even worse, I’m unintentionally teaching my kids to be overly cautious. And I despise that. I want to change.
Sure, I’ve stood up for myself over small issues, like when a barista overcharged me for my coffee. But what about when a man cornered me while I was on a solo road trip with my kids? They heard his inappropriate remarks, and they saw me panic, retreating to our car like a scaredy cat. They didn’t see a strong mom; they witnessed a moment of weakness.
I want to cultivate assertive daughters who won’t stand for domestic abuse or workplace discrimination. I envision them empowered to speak up against harassment, even in the face of shame or backlash.
It pains me to admit that I’ve been a victim of harassment and mistreatment. Yes, being a victim means I didn’t bring it upon myself, but I allowed it to continue. I didn’t deserve my high school boyfriend’s abuse, yet I stayed in that toxic relationship far too long.
In college, a seemingly helpful guy turned out to be a threat. After helping me move in, he crossed boundaries in front of his friends. When I left, he relentlessly pounded on my door, and instead of calling for help, I curled up in fear.
After graduation, I faced workplace discrimination. I heard absurd comments about my appearance and endured unfair treatment from a boss who made my life miserable. I should have reported him, but I feared the consequences.
I want my daughters to challenge inequality and harassment. They deserve to grow up in a world where such issues are reported and taken seriously. If I had been more assertive, I might have contributed to a better future for them.
Now, with social media being a battleground for trolls, I find myself facing harassment online. As a writer, I’ve become a target for vicious comments and unfounded rumors. I should be able to protect myself, but I often fall back into that same old pattern of politeness.
I realize it’s time to change. I must transform my wimpy advice into empowering lessons. I need to model assertiveness for my daughters and teach them to navigate online interactions safely. No more raising timid daughters—not on my watch!
For more on navigating the complexities of parenting and assertiveness, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re looking for tools on self insemination, visit this trusted site. Remember, it’s essential to stay informed, and for more insights into privacy, take a look at this helpful article.
In summary, I’m determined to raise strong, confident daughters who will not shy away from standing up for themselves. By changing my own narrative and embracing assertiveness, I hope to empower them to confidently face the world.