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When “Having It All” Takes a Toll on Your Health
By: Jamie Thompson
Updated: Jan. 29, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 23, 2022
I was chatting with a friend the other day, sharing our woes about persistent back pain. Both of us juggle full-time jobs and young kids, and she shared something shocking: “I lived with debilitating pain for five months simply because making a doctor’s appointment felt overwhelming.”
I could relate. Just last week, I finally went for my annual checkup—my first in three years! The doctor asked about my back MRI. Nope. Pap smear? Nope. Dental cleaning? I laughed it off. Who has time for that? She handed me a stack of referrals for ultrasounds and other tests, which are now collecting dust in my bag.
Balancing work and parenting can severely impact our health. For many of us, it’s a constant cycle of rushing kids to the pediatrician for fevers, rashes, and stomach bugs. If I leave work early for a child’s appointment, it feels almost impossible to sneak away later for my own health concerns.
Getting enough sleep is another challenge. Just last winter, a friend of mine had a relentless cough. When I asked her how she was sleeping, she shrugged. As a freelancer and single parent, she often finds herself working late into the night, leaving no time for rest. This led to her developing walking pneumonia, all because seeing a doctor and getting proper sleep felt out of reach.
Let’s not forget about exercise. I actually enjoy working out! If only there were an extra hour in the day, I’d get right to it. I start work early to spend afternoons with my kids, which means I’m in bed early. So, yoga twice a week is my current reality. My friend with back pain struggles to fit in physical therapy, while another mom I know has given up entirely. “I’m up by six with the kids, and I’m working until 11 PM. There’s no time for exercise—the work just has to get done.”
Americans are clocking in about 47 hours a week, while many other countries average just under 35 hours. On top of that, we spend about 50 minutes commuting daily, and in big cities, it can feel like we’re just sitting in traffic. When you add in childcare, housework, and the everyday tasks of life—like filling out camp forms or buying school supplies—there’s hardly any time left for self-care.
For moms, this combination of work stress and parenting responsibilities can be particularly harmful. According to Working Mother, women who report high job stress have a 40% higher risk of cardiovascular issues than those with lower stress levels.
But let’s be clear: stay-at-home parents aren’t immune to health struggles either. There are benefits to working, like health insurance and the fulfillment of a career. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I also found it tough to squeeze in workouts or doctor visits.
Ultimately, it’s a cultural issue. We drive to work instead of biking, school drop-offs are early, and extracurricular activities stretch late into the evening. Cooking healthy meals takes time, and fresh, quality food often comes with a hefty price tag. In our current economy, many of us feel pressured to work long hours just to keep our jobs.
Each fall, I make resolutions that feel more like a fresh start than those made in January. This year, I’m determined to squeeze in a few minutes of yoga daily, cook more meals from scratch, and finally make that MRI appointment as soon as I find the prescription. If it means cutting back on work or letting my kids watch another episode of their favorite show, so be it. I want to have it all, but my health is just as important.
If you’re interested in more on this topic, check out this post that dives deeper into balancing life and health. And if you’re considering ways to boost fertility, this resource is a great authority on the subject! For those navigating pregnancy, March of Dimes is an excellent resource.
Summary:
This article explores the challenges parents face in balancing work, childcare, and their own health. With long working hours, commutes, and overwhelming responsibilities, finding time for self-care feels impossible. The emphasis is on a cultural issue that affects both working and stay-at-home parents, highlighting the need for prioritizing health amidst the busyness of life.