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It’s Totally Fine If Your Teen Prefers to Follow Instead of Lead
When I was in high school, I often chose outfits that helped me blend in rather than stand out. It wasn’t that I lacked my own sense of style; I simply thought that going unnoticed was the safest route. I craved attention for my passions—like drama and music—but when it came to clothing, I aimed to be just another face in the crowd. Little did I know, my instinct to fit in was backed by research.
A recent study published in the journal Psychological Science reveals that teens who conform to their peers might actually enjoy better health in adulthood, as highlighted by journalist Tom Jacobs at Pacific Standard. Researchers from the University of Virginia followed a group of adolescents from ages 13 to 17, interviewing them and their friends about the quality of their friendships and how well they conformed to peer norms. Fast forward a decade, and those same individuals reported on their physical and emotional well-being. Interestingly, those who had close friendships and tended to conform during their teenage years reported better health outcomes.
This research suggests that the drive to fit in might be an inherent trait among teens, rooted in a desire for social security. Jacobs points out that this intense focus on friendships during adolescence could stem from an instinctive understanding that these relationships significantly impact well-being. I often felt somewhat inadequate for not trying to be more unique in my younger years, but it turns out that hanging out with my fellow drama enthusiasts was a solid choice.
The findings align with other studies indicating that even niche groups, like 1980s heavy-metal fans, became well-adjusted adults by finding comfort and support within their subcultures. Being part of a group has its perks, and while I want my sons to embrace their individuality, I also recognize that we are inherently social creatures. After all, we wouldn’t dream of showing up to a formal event in jeans, no matter how much we value our unique style.
Of course, it’s crucial to consider the dangers of social isolation. Jacobs mentions that while adolescence is a time for exploring one’s interests, pushing too hard for individuality may lead to future health issues. So, if my son wants to buy the same clothes as his friends this year or chooses to “go along to get along,” that’s perfectly fine—unless it seriously compromises his values, of course. Building strong friendships within his peer culture is beneficial, and I’m more than happy to support that, even if it means a trip to the mall.
In summary, it’s more than okay if your teen tends to follow rather than lead. Fitting in can offer valuable social support, and as they navigate their friendships, they’re also setting the stage for future well-being. For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this resource and if you’re interested in the process, here is a great authority on the subject.