10 Reasons Why I Didn’t Pick Up the Phone

home insemination Kit

Hey there! I see that little screen lighting up, feel the buzz in my pocket, and hear that familiar ring-a-ding. But alas, I’ve hit decline. Before you take offense, let me share my top 10 reasons for letting your call go to voicemail.

1. I was mediating a showdown over a lost dinosaur head. Trust me, you wouldn’t have wanted to hear the chaos that was about to unfold.
2. I was on a mad dash through my kitchen, tossing toys off the counters and shoving dishes into the sink—all while trying to look composed as a neighbor casually strolled by for a surprise visit.
3. I was in Target (I swear, just for paper towels!). You know how it goes—cell service is spotty, and self-control? Forget it. It’s like the universe conspires to make sure I leave with more than I intended.
4. I had a poop-related emergency on my hands. Literally.
5. I couldn’t hear the phone over the symphony of my kids crying. All of them. At once. I might have joined in, creating a heartfelt rendition of “Mommy Needs a Break.”
6. I realized one of my kids was missing. But don’t worry, he emerged from the shed shortly after. Don’t ask how he got there!
7. I was stuck in the carpool line. Everyone knows that phone calls during this time are frowned upon—mom etiquette, you know?
8. My kids were actually getting along for once. I knew the moment I picked up the phone, it would all go downhill. It’s like a universal law—every time!
9. It’s been ages since we talked. If I answered, you’d see the perfect life I portray on social media is just a façade. Conversations last about 15 seconds before my kids’ inner chaos erupts. I couldn’t let you in on that.
10. It was blissfully quiet. The kids were napping, and I was simply too exhausted to engage in a chat.

Honestly, when I see, hear, or feel my phone ringing, I often think, “Please don’t call me. I’ll get back to you.” Except for you, of course, dear mom—you can always call. Just know I might bail on you too.

If you’re curious about more fun parenting tales, check out our other posts, including some invaluable resources on fertility, such as this great guide on fertility insurance and this one about at-home insemination kits.

In summary, life as a parent is a whirlwind of distractions and chaos, making it tough to answer a simple phone call. But hey, that’s just part of the gig!