17 Reasons I’m Skipping Grocery Shopping with My Kids Today

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Honestly, I’d much rather wait until my little ones are tucked in bed and my partner is back from work. After a long day of juggling parenting, work, and chores, the last thing I want is to take my lively kiddos to the grocery store. Sure, I know some folks make grocery shopping a family adventure, complete with lessons on nutrition and math, but I’m just not feeling it today.

Once upon a time, grocery shopping felt almost like a mini getaway for me. I’d step through the automatic doors, leaving my chaotic day behind, and enter a serene oasis filled with delicious food. The aisles were organized blissfully, and I’d hum along to the catchy tunes overhead while planning meals I was excited to whip up. I valued that time alone, where I could choose ingredients without a care in the world—except for the occasional polite chat with fellow shoppers.

Then came the little ones—those spirited, loud companions who seemed to multiply my stress levels tenfold. When they were babies, I can’t even begin to describe the chaos of them running in different directions or the inevitable potty emergencies. So, let’s fast-forward to now.

It’s like my school-aged kids transform into clingy creatures the moment they realize we are heading to the grocery store. This phenomenon doesn’t just happen in my household; I’ve witnessed it in countless other families. The switch flips, and it’s overwhelming. So, I’m throwing in the towel and embracing solo grocery trips under the cover of night from now on. Here’s why:

1. I have a stash of their art projects in my trunk, and I can’t risk them finding out about my secret purge.
2. I’d rather not add ice cream, a puppy, or a random toy to my shopping list while driving.
3. It’d be great to enjoy the music in the car without being quizzed about random lyrics.
4. I don’t want to have to clean up evidence of a door-swinging incident before I even step into the store.
5. My kids are always freezing, yet they refuse to bring the long-sleeved shirts I asked for—let’s skip that “I told you so” moment.
6. They might realistically eat seven foods, but they’ll ask for 23 items in the store.
7. Those mini metal carts for kids? No thanks—I prefer my tendons intact.
8. And don’t get me started on those germ-infested car-shaped shopping carts.
9. Yelling, “STAY TO THE RIGHT!” in my polite voice gets old fast.
10. I really don’t want to be the one who has to return all the random items they’ve sneaked into the cart.
11. There are precarious stacks of stuff just waiting for curious little hands to topple them.
12. I can apologize to far fewer people if I’m the one pushing the cart and actually paying attention.
13. I love jamming to ‘90s music, and I’m in the mood for a solo dance party.
14. Explaining the lobster tank for the umpteenth time is testing my patience.
15. It’s easier to grab the cookies I hide from the kids when they aren’t around.
16. I really don’t need to hear how vegetables “taste like butt” today; I’m buying them regardless.
17. I fear there won’t be any candy-free checkouts, and I don’t want to endure the endless whining for treats.

So, if you spot me late at night at the supermarket in my PJs, grooving to some retro tunes while loading up on broccoli, you’ll know why. I won’t be alone in this mission—there are plenty of moms enjoying the night shopping freedom alongside me.

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