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How Friend Dates Enhance My Mommy Game
Updated: July 13, 2020
Originally Published: Aug. 30, 2015
I often reflect on the friendships I had growing up, and I can confidently say I was always more of a “guy’s girl.” Even in my youth, I found myself playing with the boys, resulting in countless skinned knees, a few cat scratches (cats aren’t fans of swimming pools, by the way), and a handful of busted lips. While I’ve lost touch with my childhood pal, “Fishy” (yes, that was really his nickname), I’ve since formed friendships with both guys and, shockingly, girls too! However, adult friendships require more effort than they did back in the day, which is why scheduling friend dates has become essential in my life.
Have you ever noticed that your friends seem a bit distant? Or when you finally meet up, one of you tends to dominate the conversation? It’s often because text messages and social media aren’t enough to nourish those connections. Friendships, much like any other relationship, require a bit of work to prevent them from stagnating. Everyone deserves to feel cherished, respected, and valued, and it’s that effort that ensures everyone has a good time together.
Things can get tricky when you and your friends have kids. Juggling schedules, childcare, and curfews becomes a real challenge, especially when you’ve got a million things to do the next day. It’s not like the carefree days of staying out until 2 a.m. and still managing to work the next day! Sorting out the logistics can be exhausting, but trust me, it’s worth it. When life gets tough, those friends will be your extended family, connected through social media and beyond.
I’ll admit that, in the past, I’ve neglected this crucial aspect of life, and it has taken a toll. Once a friendship fades, it rarely returns to its original state. So how do you avoid this pitfall in our busy lives? Between work, kids, and all those grown-up chores like laundry and yard work (unless you’re wise enough to hire someone to handle that), it can feel impossible to carve out time for friends. Sure, your friends might understand your busy schedule, but they might also need you one night, and if you bail because you didn’t make an effort, they may not be as understanding. If they can manage dinner plans despite their own chaotic lives, then so can you!
It may take some time to coordinate a night out with friends, but it’s absolutely worthwhile. Those moments allow you to unwind and rediscover who you are outside of being a mom or a wife. It’s an exhilarating escape that can relieve you of stress, reminding you that you’re human—not a robot! By stepping out for a few hours to enjoy sushi, drinks, or even just coffee, you can recharge and come back as a better version of yourself for those who rely on you. Plus, maintaining that circle of friends ensures you have support when you need it most—and trust me, you will.
Do I feel tired sometimes after a long day, especially when I get home and still have to help my son with his bedtime routine? Absolutely. But I can’t imagine my life without these amazing friends, so I push through the fatigue, grab a coffee, and head out for some much-needed time together. Whether it’s dining at a bar, savoring a steak and margarita, or just having a good laugh, those moments are priceless. Laughter is indeed the best medicine for everything from sore feet to a weary soul.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure you’re present while enjoying it. You’ll be grateful for the friendships you’ve nurtured, I promise. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my experiences, it’s that nurturing relationships is crucial for their survival. I might not be a therapist, but I can certainly offer some friendly advice!
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In summary, prioritizing friend dates not only enhances your personal well-being but also contributes to a more fulfilling family life. It’s a win-win!