18 Insights Only ‘Night Owl’ Parents Understand

home insemination Kit

I’ve always identified as a night owl. My internal clock seems to run about three hours behind what’s considered normal for most folks, with me preferring to hit the hay around 2 a.m. and rise around 10 a.m. When I was single, I navigated this rhythm by opting for jobs with late starts. But guess who doesn’t care about your late nights? Kids! I know many fellow parents who, before having kids, had never even glimpsed 7 a.m. on a clock. Here are 18 things that ‘night owl’ parents like us can relate to.

1. If you’re lucky, you partnered with an early bird. This way, during the infant stage, the night owl can handle the last feeding while the early riser takes the first shift.
2. If you’re not so lucky, you might end up with another night owl. Suddenly, you’re both wide awake at 2 a.m. feeding time, grumbling at each other, “You need to get up with her in the morning!”
3. You’ll probably spend a fortune child-proofing your living room to create a safe zone where you can doze off while your little one plays at 6 a.m. You’ll catch some sleep in quick bursts until they decide to stick a Lego in your mouth—totally worth it, right?
4. “Go to sleep already!” you tell yourself as you scroll through the Internet at 2 a.m., while your kids are sound asleep.
5. But those late-night hours? They’re the best. The house is quiet, and the world feels full of endless possibilities, like catching up with faraway friends or watching reruns of “Mork and Mindy.”
6. When it’s your partner’s turn to sleep in, and they casually suggest a coffee in bed, you may accidentally spill some of that four-hour-old brew on them. Oops!
7. You often play a mental game of “would you rather”: would you prefer waking up three times a night but then sleeping until 8, or having a solid 8 hours but getting up at 5:30? Spoiler: it doesn’t matter, who can fall asleep at 9:30?
8. School starts way too early!
9. Seriously, who are these moms with perfectly styled hair and non-puffy faces? Where are their yoga pants and flip-flops?
10. When the parent-teacher conference sign-up sheet comes around with slots from 7:05 a.m. to 8:10 a.m., you scribble, “LOL WHO CARES?” on it.
11. The rare chance to go out with old friends has you thinking, as you roll home at 2 a.m., “I should do this more often! So refreshing!” until the early morning cry for breakfast pierces your brain.
12. When it’s your spouse’s turn to wake up with the baby and they remain blissfully unaware of her cries, you have to poke them awake—that’s grounds for a serious discussion!
13. The worst mornings are when you’re jolted awake by the kids, even when it’s not your turn.
14. You become obsessed with whose turn it is to get up.
15. You dream of your own little apartment, where you could wake up at your own pace with all the coffee you desire. It doesn’t even need to be far away—just a mother-in-law suite or a cozy little bedroom where no one can place Cheerios on your forehead while you sleep. Honestly, I’d settle for a closet with an inflatable mattress!
16. You know that being woken up early feels like a fish enjoying a serene swim, only to be violently yanked out into a chaotic, cold world.
17. You invent tons of metaphors for that jarring, premature wake-up call.
18. You ponder how young is too young for your child to make their own breakfast. Five? Six? If there’s a mishap, well, kids bounce back quickly!

Right now, my sleep schedule is all kinds of messed up—I sometimes wake up before my kids, even when I don’t want to. But this can’t last forever, can it? Eventually, they’ll be able to get themselves ready for school, and then I might have to find a job. Fingers crossed for one with a late start!

If you’re interested in more parenting tips and insights, check out this excellent resource on home insemination. For additional information, you can explore our post on artificial insemination kits too.

Summary:

This light-hearted piece resonates with parents who identify as night owls, sharing relatable experiences and challenges they face in balancing their sleep patterns with the demands of parenting. From late-night reflections to the harsh realities of early morning wake-ups, it captures the humorous struggle of trying to maintain one’s identity amidst the chaos of family life.