How Being Pregnant Feels a Lot Like Being Drunk

Having experienced both pregnancy and drunkenness (but thankfully not at the same time), I can confidently say there are some amusing similarities between the two states. Let’s dive into this lighthearted comparison!

You’re Emotional

Pregnant: You might not be a total emotional mess all the time, but at some point, you’ll find yourself tearing up over something like your childhood cat being the best ever.

Drunk: You might not be weepy all night, but there comes a moment when you’re the “I love you, man” type or telling a heartfelt story about—wait for it—your childhood cat.

You Might Throw Up

Pregnant: Unless you’re one of the lucky few who dodge morning sickness, prepare to kneel by the toilet, hoping for relief. Spoiler: Vomiting doesn’t usually help, and you might end up feeling worse.

Drunk: If you didn’t know when to stop, don’t be surprised if you find yourself in a similar predicament, praying for the same sweet relief. Spoiler: You might purge and think you’re fine, but the consequences will hit hard.

Driving Becomes Complicated

Pregnant: While there’s no official rule against driving while heavily pregnant, with a massive belly and unpredictable body, it’s probably best to let someone else take the wheel.

Drunk: Just don’t do it, okay?

You’re Prone to Passing Out

Pregnant: One minute you’re planning to watch a bit of TV, and the next, you’ve zonked out for hours, drool and all. What a nap!

Drunk: After a few drinks and a Netflix binge, you’ll wake up on the couch, unsure of what happened, but at least you’re still dressed.

Memory Loss is Common

Pregnant: Where did your sunglasses go? No idea! Your phone? Oh, it’s in your hand. And did you start a load of laundry? Probably not. What’s that smell? Snack time!

Drunk: Same story—where’s your phone? Oh, it’s in your shoe. Who knows why? Better grab a snack!

You Crave Odd Foods

Pregnant: With limited acceptable foods during morning sickness and odd cravings, your taste buds might feel like they’ve gone on a wild adventure. But hey, you need to eat to grow a human!

Drunk: You might whip up some bizarre snacks because, let’s be real, you need to soak up that alcohol somehow.

Frequent Bathroom Trips

Pregnant: Congrats! Your uterus has decided to take over your bladder, and you’ll be dashing to the bathroom every 15 minutes until the baby arrives.

Drunk: Once you break the seal, expect the same fate for the rest of your night.

Wardrobe Malfunctions? No Big Deal!

Pregnant: You might realize you’ve been walking around with your belly hanging out, but honestly, who cares?

Drunk: You might not remember flashing anyone, but you’ll definitely think about wearing jeans next time—if only to avoid unexpected exposure.

You’ll Swear, “Never Again!” But…

Pregnant: As labor approaches, you might think, “How do women do this repeatedly?” You’ll feel hot, sleepless, and deprived of wine and sushi. But once you hold your perfect baby, you might just reconsider that “one more time.”

Drunk: The morning after usually brings a promise to never drink again. But give it a couple of weeks, and you’ll find yourself back in the same situation—what gives?!

It’s funny how these two experiences are intertwined, especially considering many of us may have ended up in this situation after a little too much fun. If you want to know more about the journey of pregnancy, check out this excellent resource from the CDC. And if you’re looking for the right tools for home insemination, consider checking out Cryobaby’s home intracevical insemination kit to help you along the way. For a deeper dive into the topic, feel free to reach out through this contact page.

In summary, whether you’re navigating the rollercoaster of pregnancy or a night out with friends, both experiences are filled with ups, downs, and plenty of surprises.