16 Things We Don’t Do to Keep Our Marriage Joyful

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As of yesterday, I’ve been happily married to my wonderful partner, Cheddar (yes, that’s his cheesy nickname!), for 16 years. And let me tell you, it’s been a delightful journey! While I don’t want to come off as preachy, I think sharing what keeps our marriage flourishing might be helpful, especially since many couples face challenges. Here are some things we consciously avoid to maintain our happiness.

  1. We don’t blame each other.
    Whether it’s household chores, the kids’ antics, or financial strains, it’s easy to point fingers when frustrations arise. However, we see ourselves as a team, tackling issues together rather than assigning blame.
  2. We steer clear of mind games.
    Honest communication is key! We don’t hold back when we need to express ourselves, and we avoid setting traps for one another. I’ve seen couples engage in exhausting mind games, and it’s just not worth it. Clear, kind communication is where it’s at.
  3. We don’t read between the lines.
    Since we communicate openly, there’s no need for guessing games about each other’s feelings. We ask questions if we’re unsure, eliminating assumptions that can cause unnecessary tension.
  4. We let go of grudges.
    Neither of us holds onto irritation for long. If something bothers us, we talk it out and then move on. Grudges only weigh us down.
  5. We avoid badmouthing each other.
    Ranting about our partner to friends can create a toxic environment. While seeking advice on challenges is okay, we keep it respectful and private.
  6. We don’t share every thought.
    Even though we’re open with each other, we don’t feel the need to disclose every single thought. Sometimes, it’s better to keep certain things to ourselves or share them with others.
  7. We don’t entertain jealousy.
    Cheddar has a soft spot for a few actresses, and I have my own celebrity crushes. We trust each other completely and know that attraction doesn’t threaten our bond.
  8. We don’t expect each other to be everything.
    While we support one another, we also recognize the importance of personal space and friendships outside of our marriage. It’s healthy to nurture individual needs.
  9. We don’t let life and kids take priority over our marriage.
    We strive to keep our relationship at the forefront, even during the chaotic toddler years. Sometimes, just checking in with each other can make a world of difference.
  10. We don’t overlook the importance of physical intimacy.
    This is a vital part of our relationship that we both value.
  11. We don’t neglect each other’s love languages.
    Understanding each other’s love languages, like how Cheddar appreciates acts of service and I cherish physical touch, helps us express love more effectively.
  12. We don’t take each other for granted.
    We appreciate one another’s contributions and efforts. Acknowledgment goes a long way in maintaining our connection.
  13. We don’t focus on flaws.
    We all have imperfections, but we choose to see the positives and embrace each other’s quirks instead.
  14. We don’t fight.
    While we might have disagreements or bicker occasionally, we’ve never had a full-blown fight. If it ever came to that, we’d know we needed to reevaluate things.
  15. We don’t take ourselves too seriously.
    We love to laugh together, sharing jokes and silly moments that keep our spirits high. Life’s too short to be serious all the time!
  16. We don’t view marriage as a struggle.
    While it can have challenging moments, marriage should primarily be a source of joy and support. If things ever feel overwhelming, we’re open to seeking help together.

We’re not perfect, but our relationship is pretty awesome. Here’s to another 16 years filled with love and laughter!

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Summary:

In our 16 years of marriage, we’ve cultivated joy by avoiding blame, mind games, and jealousy while embracing open communication and laughter. We prioritize our relationship amidst the chaos of life and parenting, ensuring that we recognize and appreciate each other.