Mom-Friend Deal Breakers I Won’t Apologize For

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Let’s be real: making mom friends can feel a lot like navigating the dating world. I’ll strike up a chat, see if we vibe, and maybe we’ll exchange contact info. Sometimes I hear back, sometimes I don’t. If things go well, we might even set up a few playdates. But honestly, I’m not here for the drama. I’m 32, married, and juggling two little ones, so I’ve got no time for the emotional rollercoaster of “mom-dating.” Over time, I’ve pinpointed what I want in a friendship—and what I won’t tolerate. Here are my deal breakers:

1. Your Child is Unkind to Mine. Kids have their off days, but I draw the line at constant aggression or rudeness. I want my daughter to grow up knowing she deserves respect, and if your kid is a habitual bully, I’m not letting her hang out with them. My instinct to protect my children runs deep.
2. You’re Harsh on Your Child. Watching a parent be unkind to their kid? No thanks. Yelling, belittling, or teasing isn’t okay in my book. Sure, we all lose our cool sometimes, but I believe kids should feel safe and supported. If I see you being cruel, I’ll politely excuse myself—I’d rather not think about drop-kicking you.
3. You Reward Tantrums. If your kid throws a fit and gets rewarded for it, guess what? My kid will start acting up too, thinking that’s how to get what she wants. Then I’m left in a spiral of chaos, and it’s just not worth it.
4. You’re Anti-Sugar. I get it; healthy habits are important, but I still love my cookies and cupcakes. If you’re constantly lecturing about gluten, refined sugars, and clean eating, it’s going to put a damper on the fun. Let’s just enjoy our treats together without judgment.
5. You’re Always Selling Something. I totally understand the hustle of making ends meet, but I’m not interested in your latest side gig or product. When I splurge, it’s usually on babysitting and a nice drink, not whatever you’re peddling on Etsy.
6. You Can’t Put Down Your Phone. It’s hard to connect when you’re glued to your device. If you’re more interested in scrolling through social media than having a conversation, our friendship isn’t going to flourish.
7. You’re a Constant Downer. Parenthood has its challenges, and I appreciate a good vent session. But if you’re always playing the victim and never seeing the silver lining, our time together becomes draining. I want friendships that are uplifting, not exhausting.

At the end of the day, I’m not concerned about your parenting choices—whether you choose daycare, what your vaccination views are, or your approach to discipline. I just don’t have the energy for friendships that add stress to my life. If it doesn’t make life easier, then it’s not worth my time, and that’s a deal breaker for me.

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In summary, friendships should lighten our load, not complicate it. Identifying deal breakers helps me focus on connections that enrich my life.