36 Ways Facebook Makes You Feel Like a Parenting Failure

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Who knew I was going about this parenting thing all wrong? I mean, my kids are pretty fantastic if I do say so myself. They get good grades, have vibrant personalities, treat their siblings well, and show respect to those around them. I genuinely believe they’re on the path to becoming well-adjusted adults.

I try to hold onto that belief daily, but then I scroll through my Facebook feed and suddenly doubt creeps in.

How could it not? My feed is rife with picture-perfect parenting updates, alarming news articles about children, an endless stream of opinions from everyone—teachers, doctors, psychologists, and yes, even your grandma. Toss in the sanctimonious mothers, helicopter parents, free-range advocates, and millennial moms, and it feels like I’m drowning in a sea of conflicting parenting advice. It’s enough to make anyone question their abilities as a parent. If I let all that noise get to me, I might start to think I’m ruining my kids. And if I were a new mom in my 20s today? I can’t imagine how overwhelmed I’d feel.

Is anyone really getting it right? Based on this week’s Facebook whirlwind, here are just a few ways you might be doing it all wrong:

1. Had a C-section? You must’ve given up on natural birth—what a wimp!
2. Opted for a drug-free hospital birth? You’re shaming those who needed pain relief. Why be so brave?
3. Chose a medicated birth? Clearly, you couldn’t handle a few contractions. Ever heard of the risks to your baby?
4. Did a home birth? Seriously, who does that these days? You’re lucky both of you are alive!
5. Breastfeeding? You’re just flaunting and making others feel bad. Not everyone can do it.
6. Formula feeding? You quit too soon. It’s not that hard; it’s natural.
7. Both? Can’t stick with one? You should’ve just committed to one method.
8. Co-sleeping? You’re risking your baby’s safety. Get them in their crib—stat!
9. Crib sleeping? You don’t want your baby near you? That’s sad and unhealthy.
10. Disposable diapers? Toxic chemicals, rashes, and landfill problems galore!
11. Cloth diapers? You actually enjoy scraping poop? Gross!
12. Homemade baby food? Who has time for that? Store-bought is just as good.
13. Store-bought baby food? How can you not make it yourself? It’s better for your baby!
14. Potty training after 3? Way too late! Should’ve been done by 18 months.
15. Potty trained at 18 months? That’s a joke. Kids will train when they’re ready, not before.
16. Public school? With those “regular” folks? You must not care about education.
17. Private school? Just a bunch of elitists, huh? Hope your kids survive the nuns!
18. Homeschooling? Why would anyone want to be with their kids all day? They’ll grow up weird!
19. Daughters in dresses? It’s 2023! You’re reinforcing gender inequality.
20. Sons with toy guns? Do you even watch the news? That’s dangerous!
21. Son in sports? You’re just pushing gender roles. He should be cooking and gardening!
22. Daughter likes crafts and ballet? You’re setting her up for a life in the kitchen!
23. Telling your daughter she’s pretty? Stop! You’re ruining her self-worth!
24. Not telling her? Great, now she’ll seek validation from the wrong places.
25. Letting your son cry? Boys shouldn’t show emotion—toughen him up!
26. Telling him not to cry? We’re raising a generation of softies!
27. Sleepovers? No way! One of those parents might be a predator!
28. Not allowing sleepovers? You’re too paranoid—let them have fun!
29. Letting teens swear? You’re just being crass, not cool.
30. Not allowing swearing? Teens need to express themselves, so loosen up!
31. Letting your daughter date at 16? You’re asking for trouble—side hugs only!
32. Not allowing dating till 18? She needs experience! I gave my daughter the pill at 13.
33. Letting her dress provocatively? She’s asking for it—be careful!
34. Making her dress modestly? You think all men are predators?
35. Working full-time? How can you leave your kids? It’s selfish of you!
36. Staying home with the kids? What kind of example is that?

What I really wish for all of us moms is a little more support and understanding. Even if someone’s parenting style differs from yours, we can simply say, “I may not agree with you, but I respect your choices. You’re not failing as a parent.”

For more on parenting and home insemination, check out our other post on intracervical insemination. Plus, if you’re looking for expert resources, have a look at Hopkins Medicine’s guide on pregnancy and home insemination. And for a reliable home insemination kit, visit Make a Mom.

Summary

Parenting is a minefield of opinions, especially on social media. From birth choices to schooling and everything in between, it can feel like you’re failing no matter what you do. But the truth is, every family is different, and support is what we truly need.