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As My Daughter Steps into Her 20s, Reflecting on My Own Journey
Yesterday, I sent a quick text to my 21-year-old daughter, Mia, who’s spending her summer interning at college after putting in a lot of effort to land the position. I typed, “I’m so excited for you!”—the kind of enthusiasm that’s hard to convey in a message. When she replied, “Why?” I paused to consider.
Why indeed? Mia is on the brink of a thrilling chapter in her life. As a college senior, she’s gearing up to graduate in less than a year and is busy mapping out her future. Next week, she’ll tackle the GREs, narrowing down her choices for graduate schools, and thinking about where she might want to live and work.
From my suburban perspective at 47, it all seems glamorous and full of potential. But I can only imagine how overwhelming it must feel to her. The reality of your 20s can often be hard to appreciate until you reach your 40s. Back in my 20s, life felt rather mundane. I graduated from college and jumped straight into a job that, while lucky to have found, I quickly disliked. That same year, I met and married my husband.
During my 20s, I also became a mother to two little ones, bought a house, and transitioned from a full-time job to being a stay-at-home mom. It was a whirlwind of change, but I didn’t realize how significant that time was until much later. I want Mia to recognize the monumental moment she’s in. She’s standing at a crossroads of her own making, with paths that could lead her to exciting travels, graduate studies, or a fulfilling career in any city she desires.
However, she’ll also encounter challenges. The comfort of parental support will fade, and the safety net of college will be gone. She’ll be competing for jobs against many qualified candidates and may face setbacks along the way. The realities of adult life will set in, from managing student loans to dealing with the ups and downs of relationships. She might find herself juggling family obligations and navigating the complexities of homeownership, like needing to fix a furnace when she least expects it.
Yet, I still want her to focus on the wonderful experiences ahead of her: the excitement of grad school, the joy of falling in love, and the thrill of making independent choices. The best friendships she’ll forge in her 20s can last a lifetime. I wish I could tell her to embrace this decade fully, to be aware of the opportunities and challenges, and most importantly, to enjoy herself along the way.
Looking back, I sometimes wonder why I didn’t realize how powerful my 20s were—how each choice intertwined to shape my life over the next 26 years. The man I chose to marry, our first home, the kids we raised—all of it continues to echo in my life today. So, Mia, as you step into this exciting new phase, don’t be afraid. Embrace it, and have fun!
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Summary
A mother reflects on her daughter’s transition into her 20s, comparing it to her own experiences. She encourages her daughter to embrace the opportunities and challenges ahead, emphasizing the importance of making choices and enjoying life.