The Notable Shift Between 35 and 40

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The Notable Shift Between 35 and 40

by Jamie Leslie

Updated: Sep. 5, 2023

Originally Published: Sep. 5, 2023

When I was 35, I found out I was expecting. As an actress, 35 felt like the new 40 in my world—a sort of last call at the industry’s Last Chance Cafe. Or at least, that’s what I believed.

During my pregnancy, while waiting outside an audition room, I jotted down some thoughts in my spiral notebook—my first sign that I was entering a different stage of life. Here’s a glimpse of what I wrote:

1. Motherhood is thrilling and will be an exhilarating journey, but it’s just one part of my life. I’m still an actress, even if it means taking a break for a bit.
2. I want my daughter to see her mom as a working actress. It’s important for her to know what auditions mean, and what it takes to bring characters to life. Studying scripts is part of my job, and I want her to understand that.
3. My motivation has skyrocketed since becoming a mom. Whether my post-baby successes are big or small doesn’t matter; what counts is that she sees me working hard and chasing my dreams.

Soon after I penned this list, I rushed to the bathroom to be sick. Pregnancy was a ride in itself. The whirlwind that followed was intense—love, exhaustion, and a constant struggle for balance. Work-life equilibrium? Maybe in some far-off time.

Fast forward to now; I’m 40 and back at the casting calls. Surprisingly, during my five-year hiatus, I actually honed my craft. I strolled into a casting office recently, watching the younger actresses chat nervously—some bragging about recent gigs, others worrying about their appearances after a hot subway ride.

As I signed in for my audition slot—on an iPad, how modern!—I pulled out my trusty spiral notebook again. (Yes, I still keep my headshots and resumes in a Trapper Keeper; no shame here.) I made a new list:

1. I feel completely at ease before auditions now. Perhaps motherhood has grounded me, making me realize not everything hinges on one audition.
2. I’m not concerned about what anyone thinks in that small room, nor do I care to compare myself to anyone else. If I’m right for the role, I’ll get it.
3. I’m actually happier with how I look at 40 than I was at 35. My hair might even be shinier—at least that’s what I tell myself!
4. I’m ready to crush this audition, and if it doesn’t go my way, it won’t be due to a bad performance.
5. Cheerios, sunblock, applesauce. (My lists cover a lot of ground!)

Five years ago, my agents dropped me because I was busy nurturing new life. My ambitions faded as I was swept up in the whirlwind of new motherhood. I was a bundle of nerves, focused solely on the health of my baby and my new routine. When she finally arrived, I felt like a shadow of my former self, watching my career—something I had built so carefully—slip away while I navigated the waters of motherhood.

Now, I feel a bit sorry for the anxious 20-somethings fretting before auditions. They’re grappling with line memorization and wondering if they even belong there.

When I was a kid, a friend of my mom’s—a talented actress with an Emmy—offered me some solid advice: When you enter an audition, think, “The solution to your problem just walked in. I’m what you need.” Last night, I called her to share that three decades later, I finally embraced her wisdom. At 40, I walk into casting calls knowing I’m the right fit.

Who would have guessed that five years of diving headfirst into the rewarding yet challenging job of motherhood could lead to feeling younger, more confident, and more in control than I ever was as a nervous young actress? If you’re curious about more insights into home insemination, check out this article. And for a comprehensive look at artificial insemination, Make a Mom is a great resource. Additionally, Medical News Today offers valuable information on fertility and related topics.

Summary:

The transition from 35 to 40 can bring significant changes, especially for a working actress. Embracing motherhood has redefined priorities and opened up new perspectives on auditions. While the anxiety of youth has faded, the confidence gained through experience and life lessons shines brighter, allowing for a more relaxed approach to the industry.