Your cart is currently empty!
Three Mistakes I Make in My Relationship (And You Might Too)
For four years, I immersed myself in studying relationships—reading, attending workshops, and absorbing everything I could about what makes a partnership thrive. I could analyze family dynamics and parenting styles with ease. Yet, despite all this knowledge, I often find it challenging to apply it to my own life.
Recently, I reflected on a fantastic child-free getaway my partner, Jake, and I took in January. It was a dream—adventurous activities like climbing volcanoes and zip-lining through rainforests filled our days. However, what lingered in my mind was a solitary walk I took on the beach, which led me to contemplate abandoning my family for a fresh start in Costa Rica.
The day didn’t begin with that contemplative walk. Instead, it started with a tense breakfast after a cold “good morning” from Jake, who was unusually grumpy. Rather than addressing his mood, I brushed it off. Here are the three missteps I made that day, which ultimately hurt us both:
Mistake No. 1:
I turned away instead of towards him. I had a perfect opportunity to foster open communication, but I chose to remain distant. We headed to our favorite cabana, where I got lost in my book and the sun, momentarily forgetting Jake’s demeanor. It didn’t take long for the reality to hit me when I tried to engage in conversation and was met with silence.
Feeling ignored left me feeling sorry for myself. After asking him for a small favor, I was met with anger and name-calling, which made me feel worthless. When I feel that way, frustration builds. As Jake stormed off, I sat by the pool, fuming. Then it struck me: he only lashes out when his needs aren’t being met.
Mistake No. 2:
Instead of reaching out to him in his emotional pain, I allowed my resentment to fester. I recalled all the times he made me feel unappreciated, and instead of recognizing his needs, I focused solely on my feelings. I labeled him selfish and inconsiderate in my mind and took my sweet time before heading back to the room, waiting for him to apologize first.
Mistake No. 3:
I sought to reconnect by wanting something from him instead of offering support. When I finally returned to the room, I found him sulking and watching golf. Instead of showing empathy or asking if he wanted to talk, I snapped at him about wasting our vacation. I left him behind, assuming my generous invitation to join me would be enough to lift his spirits.
As I walked along the beach, I envisioned a carefree life without marriage or kids. It seemed appealing at that moment—not having to consider anyone else’s feelings. But then, something changed. I realized that Jake was hurting and needed my compassion. I fought against this urge but couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed me to be loving and supportive.
I wish I could say that since that day, everything has been smooth sailing. But that’s not reality. After eight years together, we still bicker and have moments of anger. We struggle with selfishness and can go a day without talking. Yet, we keep working on our relationship. We practice grace and understanding, strive for better communication, and most importantly, we continue to grow together.
Regardless of how much I know about relationships, I learn something new every day with Jake. I aim to turn toward him instead of away, to recognize and meet his needs, and to give rather than receive. Most importantly, I fight for our relationship, even when it gets challenging, because we are worth it.
If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this informative post on the terms and conditions of the topic. For a reliable source of information on at-home insemination kits, visit CryoBaby. And for a deeper dive into the science of IVF and genetics, the Genetics and IVF Institute is an excellent resource.
In summary, while I have made my fair share of mistakes in my relationship, I continue to learn and grow. It’s essential to communicate openly, show empathy, and work together through the ups and downs.